4.11.2010

Misery

That is where I have been for the past week.

Excuse me for what will follow as a complete whine fest but I think I deserve it.

I have been so sick for the past week or so and it seems to only get worse every day. I knew this would happen. Why did I want another baby? I know that is horrible to say and that children are blessing's from God, but I don't know why being pregnant has to be so hard on me. I throw up every day, multiple times a day, and when I'm not throwing up I'm trying hard NOT to throw up. It is so hard to eat and near impossible to hold anything down. And when I do find something that I can hold down, I get horrible indigestion that makes me want to puke. Oh, and the metallic taste. Gross! I can't get rid of it and it's really annoying the heck out of me.

And I'm only 7 weeks along. God, please help me.

I was sick like this with Charlotte and I guess I held on to some sliver of hope that I wouldn't be as sick next time but I guess that just didn't work out. I was sick for 21 long and painful weeks with Charlotte and even after that I threw up occasionally and struggled with terrible indigestion. I really am a miserable pregnant woman. I am so jealous of women who have little or no nausea while pregnant. Or women who are nauseous but don't throw up or their sickness ends after the first trimester. Please God, let this end soon.... What I have is a very mild case of hyperemesis. I haven't lost any weight (yet), but I can't imagine that won't happen soon. My throat hurts from throwing up and it's near impossible to eat or drink anything without feeling horrible for hours afterwards. *sigh*

Today I hardly got out of bed. I just couldn't do it. Every time I walked I got nauseated and gagged and had to lay back down. I feel so guilty about this because I feel like I'm not having fun with Charlotte anymore and she is missing out. Thomas has been so fantastic through all of this, he has totally taken on the roles of baby caretaker and food maker.

And just the thought of going back to work this week makes me ill. I don't know how I'm going to do it especially since I can't even get out of bed!

Thank God for a wonderful church family who has sent over meals and food for us (mainly for my poor husband and child! ha) and are praying for me. Thank you ladies so much, it really does mean a lot.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound like a complete whiner, I really don't mean to be. I just feel very alone and miserable ALL the time. I would appreciate your prayers but please hold off on the advice. I have tried it all (I promise!) and nothing has worked, even the 8mg of Zofran I take every 8 hours or so. Only thing I haven't tried is the SeaBands so I might get some of those tomorrow but I can't imagine they'd do anything either!!! :(

Thanks for reading and for your prayers.

8 comments:

Mandie, Daniel and Dawson said...

I hope you feel better very soon. The only good news is that the sickness means a healthy baby, but it does suck!!! But just a thought, trust me on this you do not want to be the woman who is constantly wanting to throw up and always nauseated but doesn't. That was me and I would literally lay in the bathroom begging God to let me throw up and I tried every method I could think of...and nothing helped.

Rachel said...

Nothing works for me either, this current pregnancy was one of my worst too... Sorry... no words of advice, only the hope that you start feeling better soon!

P.S. If sea bands work let me know, I am onto the heartburn phase and past the puking 5times a day phase, if I am preggo again, I'd love to know a solution that works.

thehills said...

Thanks, Rach! I've always wanted a big family but I just don't know if I could do this again, you know?

Rachel said...

I always try to think of people where it can be worse... if I was in chemo or if I had chronic fibromialgia, there is a lady at my church who has a inoperable tumor that makes her feel nautious all the time (as her balance is off)... at least there is an end in sight being pregnant :) It was a lot easier the pregnancies where I didn't work. When I worked I was miserable, my "sick" was visible to the world, instead of being able to be sick on my own time chilling on the couch. I admire you for working through not one, but two pregnancies! I don't think I could!

Morellocherry said...

Hi, oh no. i hope you feel better soon. its awful. when i ws pregnant with mine, i tried everythng including seabands. idk if htey worked for sure, but wore them throughout the pregnancy anyway. idk if it was just a placebo effect though. but i thought they worked a tiny bit. i wore them so much i had marks lol.
hang in there...in a few months it will all be a distant (hopefully)memory
xxxx

Miss Erin said...

Hang in there. I was fianlly sent to the hospital for IV fluids at 22 weeks- it's never ending. I wonder how much of this could have been avoided if I had been sent in earlier. I keep tellin gmyself it'll all be over on august 4th at the latest...17 weeks to go.

Tiff and Seth said...

Hilary, I think you deserve to whine/complain or whatever else you want to do! I couldn't imagine having to feel like that constantly! You are definitely in my prayers- and I will also add you to my Circle of Friends prayer list. Please let me know if there is anything else we can do for you!!

erica said...

So sorry you are feeling sick! With my twins, I had the same problem. I was in the hospital a few times for IV fluids. NOTHING helped, nothing except.....the only thing that helped was drinking small amounts of Crystal Light. I don't know why. The seabands did nothing, but maybe they will work for you? Also, even though it probably upsets your tummy, drink small sips of water constantly to keep from IV fluids. Sitting at the hospital, sick, throwing up and getting fluids is HORRIBLE!

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