Follow the Hills

Things I love about my children.

2011-10-13T15:57:00.000-05:00

Because sometimes we can all complain a little too much about our little stinkers.

- I love that Charlotte says "Thank you," just about every time I hand her something. Such a sweetie.

- I love when Charlotte keeps calling the baby over to the toys to play with her... "Baby, come on! Come over here!"

- I LOVE watching the girls together. Clara absolutely loves her sister and just cracks up over the silliest stuff that Charlotte does. The other day Charlotte was walking really silly shuffling her feet, and Clara was just laughing and giggling and following her around everywhere. She just adores her!

- I love when Charlotte sings "Jesus loves me." Melts my heart.

- I love that Clara is so in love with me. Its true. The child wont go to anyone else! Even if its me and Thomas in the same room, she always prefers Mama. 'Atta girl. (And actually, it's her first "official" non-babbling word! Mama. Yep. Im proud!)

- I love how Charlotte is (usually) so kind to other people. She likes to share and likes to make people laugh.

- I love that Charlotte absolutely, positively loves her daddy.

Clara says, "War Eagle!" :)

Isn't she just the cutest? <3

Because I suck at this.

2011-10-10T20:29:00.004-05:00

Going to start blogging again. Or at least try to. My life is just too boring to write about I guess! :)

6 months already?

2011-06-20T22:14:00.000-05:00

So it looks like my last post was 6 months ago! Almost 7 months! Well, let me tell ya that flew by! Im going to try to blog more, mostly for personal use. Im HORRIBLE at keeping baby books and all that mommy goodness (ugh, my kids are gonna hate me some day), so blogspot will have to do. Or Facebook. (Is there a way to get all your Facebook statuses? Im pretty sure my children comprise 99.2% of them).

Anywho. Where to start?

My last post was about Clara's birth. Wow. That seems SO. LONG. AGO. But yet seems just like last week and I know she'll be one before I know it. When you have a child, time flies, but when you have two it REALLY flies. I can only imagine when you have more than that!

So... Clara. My sweet Clara. Or as I like to call her.... Porkchop. Chubber. Stinkybutt. My fat bottomed girl. Or just plain fatty. But she knows I love her.

Her first 3 months were... Well, they were rough, I'll just put it that way. She was extremely colicky and we just could not figure out what was wrong with her. She would scream ALL day long and it would be near impossible to get her to sleep at night. We even took her to the ER right before New Years because I just knew that something was wrong with her to make this child scream like this! But all they could tell me was "colic." Whatever THAT means?! Clara almost scared me from ever having another baby again. Almost. ;)

At about 10 weeks old, after trying everything else, we put her on Prevacid because I suspected that she might have reflux after taking this quiz on this website. She never spit up so I just didn't consider it at first, but there's such a thing as "silent reflux," which I believe is what she had. Within a week, she was a new baby! Hallelujah! No more bouncing for endless hours on a yoga ball with a hot tempered baby strapped to your bosom in a Moby wrap! Phwew! Yall, she was a TOTALLY different baby, and has just continued to improve.

Right now at 6.5 months old she is the perfect baby. Seriously. (I mean, not that fussy babies aren't "good" babies, all babies are sweet goodness... Does anyone else hate it when people imply that?) She is content all the time, sitting up so well (and has been since about 4 months old), sleeping fantastic, puts herself to sleep without a fuss (started it on her own!), gaining weight just fine, working on crawling, nurses like a champ, and is just an overall healthy and happy baby. Praise God! Now, she is a biiiiig mama's girl and won't really let anyone else besides myself or my husband hold her, but she is getting better at that. And honestly, I love it! Charlotte was such a hot potato baby, she could be passed around all day long and not give a care in the world! She never really cried when I left the room, but Clara does. Love it! :)

She is still nursing! Never had any formula (ok, except for 22ml on her second night of life, she was screeeeeeeaming, so I gave in, she drank a little, then passed out for 3 hours, ha!)... Anyone who knows me knows I am a huge breastfeeding advocate and had a very rough time with Charlotte, so I am absolutely thrilled that it has worked out so well this time. Its the sweetest and most amazing thing I think I have ever done!

I mean, look at this face?! *melt*

She's 16lb 9oz as of today and Im guessing about 27.5 in long. We started solids just a few days ago, but we are doing mostly babyled weaning, which basically means.... she eats what we eat, on her timing. I give her some food and if she eats it, then she does, if not... Then thats ok, too. :) I've given her just a little baby food. Im not a fan of the stuff, its WAAAAY overpriced!

OH! In other news... We bought a house! We weren't planning on it originally, but we prayed about it a lot and asked a bunch of questions to some mortgage companies (because at first we didn't think we'd qualify for a loan due to our student loan debt), and we found the perfect little house for us. We moved in a month ago and we have loved it so far!

My favorite thing about it is the backyard. It's fenced in and is just the perfect size. Charlotte LOVES it! And yes it has a sprinkler system and lots of cute flowers already. I'll tell ya, I dont have any kind of green thumb, so this is definitely motivation to learn.

I dont have any other pictures of the house because it's still a hot mess and the living room has to be painted. Badly. Like, it's being painted this Thursday by my mama who is flying in from Ohio in a couple days. And I wont take any pics of it til it's painted! Ha! I dont know what the previous owners were thinking, but breastfed baby poop yellow is not very fitting to slather all over your walls! Yuck. I also need to decide what to paint the girls room, either light purple, pink, yellow, or green. Yes, that narrows it down a lot, doesn't it?

Ok, so Clara. What else about Clara? Oh, yes. She absolutely adores Charlotte. ADORES. Nobody can make this bundle of fatty goodness laugh like Charlotte can. Charlotte can just hit her ("Gentle hands, Charlotte, GENTLE HANDS!") and the kid starts belly laughing. I cant ever make her laugh that hard! She looks up to her, that's for sure. I pray that their relationship continues to develop and I pray that I can nurture that relationship. Sisters are important!

And Charlotte loves Clara. Oh man, does she love Clara. Every morning she gets up and asks where the baby is (and *yawn* it's always the same answer... Baby is sleeping!) and wants to give her a hug and a kiss. It's so sweet to see them together. Warms a mama's heart! I also believe this child was born to be a mama. All. Day. Long. ALL she does is play with her babies, stuffed animals, blocks, whatever... and babies them. Nurses them, rocks them, even bounces them on her ball, ha. I call her my Lil Mama, because she really is!

Charlotte is now 2.5 years old. Wow. I can't believe it. Just a little while ago she looked like this....

And now she looks like this....

*tear*

(And how did two average looking people make such a beautiful child? I didn't think it was supposed to work like that?) ;)

Ok well that's enough for tonight. I love my little family and I love being their momma! (Ok.. most days) ;)

Clara Grace's Birth Story

2010-11-29T18:02:00.000-06:00

Our second edition, Clara Grace (yes, we changed her name at the last minute!), was born yesterday, November 28, 2010 at 9:19am. She is doing wonderfully and we are so grateful for God's little blessing!

I am going to write out my birth story mostly for my own personal use, but some people (myself included!) like to read birth stories so Im going to share it with everyone. I'll try to make it short! :)

I guess I have to start on Friday, Nov 26. I was 39w 4d at this point. It was Black Friday, and we had had a busy day. We did a bit of shopping that morning and then relaxed that afternoon and watched the Iron Bowl game (Auburn won, War Eagle!). I had been debating on trying castor oil, but I know it is controversial so I did a bit of research on it on the internet. Most of the sites I found said to take 2-4oz of castor oil. I didnt feel comfortable taking that much, so I decided to only take 1 oz and see what happened. I took it at about 3pm that day. I decided I would use the breastpump for a bit (supposedly it can bring on labor in some people), so I did that for about 15 mins. Then I bounced on my yoga ball while watching TV. My mother-in-law was in town visiting for Thanksgiving so we all decided to do a bit of shopping that evening. Right before leaving the apartment at about 5:30pm, I realized that I was having contractions about 5 mins apart. I figured I would just "keep an eye" on them and see what happened.

We went to Hobby Lobby and walked around, and the contractions kept coming, 3-5 mins apart at this time and they were getting a little more stronger and painful. We then went to Target and walked around a bit, hoping to stimulate labor a bit more. Then we thought, Hmmm maybe its a good idea to go home? (Note: My labor with Charlotte was 27 hrs long from first timeable contraction until birth. The contractions with her stayed at 7-10 mins apart for 20 HOURS.. So I wasnt used to contractions 3-5 mins apart!) :)

So we got home and kept timing them, and they just weren't going away and were getting more painful. We decided at about 9pm that we were going to go to the hospital, so we packed up our things and went. Could this be it?

When we got to the hospital, they were anywhere from 2-5mins apart and getting pretty strong. I had to really breathe through them to tolerate it. We got in our room and they hooked me up to the monitor, and my contractions were showing up pretty strong. I was only 1cm still at this point, though, which was a bit disappointing (Note: I had been 1cm for a week at this point, and 50% effaced) after having such pain for the last 4 hours or so! Im not really sure why the hospital decided to keep me since I wasnt progressed, but I wish they would have. To make a long story short... The contractions kept coming until about 3am at which point I decided to try Stadol for pain relief. All that stuff did was make me very drowsy but still feel the contractions! I wouldnt recommend it. So I basically passed in and out of consciosness for a few hours until I realized my contractions had slowed waaaay down and were about 15 mins apart. And then soon after, they stopped completely. What!? They checked me and I was 4cm dilated. I was completely confused. How does labor just STOP like that???

At this point it was 7am and I was completely exhausted. The nurse mentioned the doctor was going to be there soon and that she could break my water or try pitocin to get things going again, but I didnt want to do that. I couldnt imagine laboring for several more hours on no sleep, and then taking care of a newborn! No thank you. So I decided to leave the hospital and go home.

I went home and slept for 5 hours. After that, I didnt really feel any more contractions. I had a few, but they were erratic, even though they were still at the same pain level as the night before... More painful than Braxton Hicks contractions. Thomas mentioned that maybe I should try another ounce of castor oil. (BTW, when I took it on Friday night, I had no side effects, no diarrhea or nothing) So I took another ounce at about 5pm that evening. We played with Charlotte and hung out with his mom for a bit, then decided to go walking around the mall for an hour or so at about 9pm. While walking around I got a few contractions, but nothing regular. *sigh* I was really starting to get discouraged from the night before.

We went home and for SOME reason stayed up until midnight. Before going to bed, my random painful contractions continued, but they were only about 15 mins apart. I took a Unisom and went to bed.

Sometime between 2:30am-3:00am Sunday morning I woke up with pain. I went in and out of sleep for the next 2 hours or so until I just couldnt sleep anymore because of the pain. I wasnt timing them because I was so groggy due to the Unisom. At about 4am I woke Thomas up with all of my moaning and groaning and he suggest I bounced or lay across my yoga ball. So I bounced and swayed on the ball for awhile. Contractions were about 4-6 mins apart at this point and over the next 2 hours, got stronger and more painful. I didnt want to go to the hospital too soon and have a repeat of Friday night, so I continued to just bounce on the ball and walk around to tolerate the painful contractions. At about 7:00am we called the dr's office hotline and told them I was in labor and they told us to come right in. We took our time gathering our things (remember, my first labor was 27 hrs, I thought I had plenty of time ;) ) and at about 7:45am we headed over to the hospital at got there at about 8am.

By this point, the contractions were extremely painful and it was hard to "just breathe" through them. I figured I was at least 5 or 6cm at this point. So we got a room and they hooked me up to that blasted monitor, and checked me. 4cm. ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME? I think I could have slapped someone at that point. I had been wanting to go pain med-free for this labor and birth but after realizing that I was going to be in so much pain for so long again, I wanted an epi. The nurses tried to talk me out of it somewhat, knowing that what I wanted was a natural birth, but I insisted. They called the OB on call and the anesthesiologist, telling me they each had a 20 minute drive.

After this point, the contractions all of a sudden became extremely painful, but still only about 3 mins apart. I didnt want Thomas to touch me, I didnt want to lay in bed, so I told the nurses I HAD to get out of bed, so I did and walked around. I wanted to jump out the window, it hurt so bad! When was the anesthesiologist going to get here?! (It was about 8:30am by this point)

The contractions got more and more painful and just made me nauseous. I thought it was because I was so hungry! I was begging Thomas to give me some of his crackers! :) After one contraction, I threw up and got really dizzy. I didnt realize it at the time, but I was hitting the Transition period of labor. Right after this, the OB on call walked in and introduced herself and I was just asking where the anesthesiologist was at! She was super nice, though, and told me she had to break my water first before I could get an epidural. WHAT? I had always heard that breaking the water makes contractionsn 10x worse so this brought me to tears and I was just so scared of the pain that was about to come.

So, she broke my water and checked me, it was about 8:50 at this point. 7cm! I was shocked I had dilated so fast. The doctors and nurses left after this, and I just tried to deal with the horrendous after-breaking-the-water-pain. I was moaning so loud, Thomas was telling me to be quiet, LOL! I tried breathing, I tried telling myself it was "good pain", and I tried counting, but nothing helped. FINALLY, at about 9am the anesthesiologist came in, tried to make small talk but I wanted that needle in my back and NOW!!! I was TERRIFIED that he was going to stick me when I was having a contraction because that happened when I was in labor with Charlotte. But, he waited til one was over, then numbed the area up. I didnt even feel the needle go in. Phew! Now I was just waiting for it to take effect. He was finished at about 9:10am. I asked when the epi was going to take effect, and the nurse told me, "A good 20-25 minutes." OMG what?!

At this point I stood up and had two more contractions. The nurse tried to get me to sway with her, but I told her to get her hands off me!! After the second one, I felt a lot of pressure. Looking back, I think I felt the baby drop right into position. The nurse didnt believe me so she made me just get back in the bed but I started screaming at her, "I FEEL PRESSURE! OMG!!!" so she reached in and yelled into the hall, "Dr. Moses!!!" The nurse got me to lay on my right side. All these people started rushing into the room and they got my legs in the stirrups. I was screaming during the contractions and the nurses were trying to get me to breathe. I yelled, "Please stop talking to me!!!!!!!!"

At this point, the doctor was "in position" and I started to feel a burning sensation. They told me that it was gonna "hurt like hell" and I would feel a "burning ring of fire." Well yes, that is exactly what I felt. Can I just say that my desire to ever birth naturally ever again went totally away?

They told me I was going to push at the next contraction. So that's exactly what I did, and out popped her head! And yes, it did hurt like hell! A few seconds later they told me to push again, and I did, and out popped her body. Two pushes and she was out! It's true that after the baby is out, you feel no more pain. THANK GOD! It was over. I did it! I didnt want to, but I did it! LOL About 5 mins after the was born, the epidural started to take effect. Go figure!!! My legs were totally numb for 5 hrs after that.

And there she was. Clara Grace Hill. 7lb 10oz, 19.5 inches long. She came out pink and healthy, breathing just fine, with APGARs of 9 and 10. I was so happy she was healthy!

We are both doing just fine. Nursing is going MUCH better than it did with Charlotte (let me spare you the horrible details on that one). She is also just so alert! She'll just lay there and look around the room for an hour. Hopefully the sleepy bug bites her soon! ;)

Here are a few pics...

She weighed exactly as much as Charlotte did! And also arrived 1 day before her due date, just like her big sister! :)

Hey everybody! I'm the one who made my mama sick for 6 months and helped her gain 65 lbs (again!)

Mama and Baby. I was determined to have a "decent" picture after this baby's birth because after Charlotte was born I looked like a hot mess! This was about 15 mins after she was born. :)

This child, once again, looks just like her Daddy. She has his nose and pointy chin!

Big Sister Charlotte and Grandma Susan come to visit the baby. Charlotte wasn't too impressed...

Daddy holding his two babies :)

Charlotte has come to visit a few times and has reacted... as expected. :) She has been a little stand offish towards me, probably because I had an IV in my hand and was in a strange bed in strange clothes. She did show interest in the baby and patted her head and kissed her. Oh, and tried to give her her "sassy." :) (pacifier) Hopefully over the next few weeks we will all adjust to being a family of four!

36 weeks!

2010-11-03T08:51:00.000-06:00

So since this past Monday I have been 36 weeks into his pregnancy! I am so grateful to have made it here, there were a few weeks where I didn't think that we would! But of course, prayer works and God is good! :)

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and also had an ultrasound to see how "big" this baby was. Ha. Even though I seem to gain a kindergartener when I'm pregnant, it doesn't seem my babies get to memo to get "big." :) I know that ultrasounds can be waaay off in terms of a baby's weight so I dont trust them at all, but it said she is weighing about 6lb 6oz right now at 36 weeks. Not too shabby, I guess. Charlotte was born at 39w6d and was 7lb 10oz, so she was a little thing. Maybe this baby will be bigger than Char if she decides to wait that long...

Of course, I am not dilated or progressing or anything yet. And that's ok! I could have sworn I would have had SOMETHING going on, though, with as much Char lifting, walking, and stress that has been put on my body lately! I guess in a way I am glad, though. I dont really feel ready to have a baby yet!! Im quite scared to have 2 little ones 2 years old and under. What was I thinking?! ;)

So next Monday I will be 37 weeks, which is considered fullterm. I can't believe I am so close to being there!!! It seems this pregnancy has gone sooooo slooooooow. Now, I just need to get the 297372 things done that I need to get done before she gets here... :)

My little fairy princess

Trying out her big sister role by rocking her baby doll :)

Second Chances

2010-10-04T00:20:00.003-05:00

"They" say (whoever they may be) that the first child is always the guinea pig. The first child gets things tried out on them, the parents make mistakes, learn new techniques, etc and then try to do "better" with the second child. Or maybe it's not even until the third, fourth, or tenth child until you realize certain things.

This blog post may not mean anything to most people, but then some might be able to relate. If you aren't a parent (a mommy, especially), then it might not make any since at all! It might even offend some, even though that is not my original intent.

When Charlotte was born, I had never read a parenting book. I never went to a parenting class and I never really worried about all that. I had heard that everything would just come naturually to me and everything would work out. For the first ten weeks of her life, this was truly the case. We struggled a lot with nursing at first (which never really panned out), but otherwise, everything was ok. Even though we never planned on it (or even thought about it), she slept in our bed and much to my surprise, I LOVED it. Thomas and I both loved having a sweet cuddly little baby right there to kiss and snuggle with at night. Everyone told us we better be careful or we'd never get her out of our bed! Ha. Now, I WISH she would at least take a nap with me! But no, she refuses time and time again. :)

At ten weeks old, I picked up a book someone at church gave me called Babywise (actually, it was the "Christian" version.. Growing Kids God's Way). I also read things similar to what the book teaches online. It told me Charlotte NEEDED to be put on a strict feeding and sleeping schedule or else she'd grow up to be a defiant little brat who would learn that crying = attention. Let me tell you, them's be strong words to a new a mommy, unsure of her capabilities and full of doubt on this new mothering journey. As a first time mom, not having a clue, I was scared of messing up. I wanted to be the PERFECT mother, or at least as perfect as I could be. I was afraid of not listening to "the book" and to others around me saying that she needed to learn to soothe herself.. She needed to fall asleep by herself.. She needed to be put on a schedule.. She needed to learn ORDER! Because don't you know that God is a God of order? (<--insert puking smiley here)

So I listened. I decided that she, indeed, needed to learn to "cry it out," even though she was barely out of my womb. She needed to learn that mommy wasn't going to come to her "manipulative cries." The little sinner!

So when she was 10 weeks old, at bedtime we fed her, rocked her for a minute, then I put her in her crib and I walked out the door. She immediately started to scream, kick her legs, and flail around. My heart started pounding, I felt sick inside. I believe I actually threw up at some point that night. I had to lock myself in our bathroom to drown out the cries. Actually, I had to leave the house and met a friend at Starbucks to talk out my feelings on the matter. Why wouldn't she stop crying? Why wasn't this working? Does God approve of this?

This lasted for 3 hours. THREE. HOURS. Then she fell asleep, alone in her crib, and in her pretty little room. And yet I felt so ugly inside. I felt like I had sinned against God for abandoning this sweet little creature He had blessed me with.

Later on that night, my eyes swollen with tears, I went and picked her up and brought her back to bed with us. I didn't care if I had "ruined" all that crying work, I just knew that I needed her close to me. I didn't like the thought of her sleeping alone, so far away, in the dark.

In the weeks that followed, I still tried to put her on a "schedule" but in a gentler way. We did transition her to her crib a few days later and she has stayed there ever since (much to my dismay!). There were many many times I have cursed Ezzo's name and his book for bringing doubt into my mind about the things that were important to me. For months after that 10 week mark, I struggled with PPD, doubt, and fear of doing it "wrong." There were times I didn't like being a mom at all because my baby just wouldn't cooperate with "the schedule."

When I think about it, I can still hear her. I can still hear her screaming and I can see her precious tiny body in that yellow sleep sack kicking and flailing... And me just standing there doing nothing. Nothing. It has been almost two years since then and yet I still think about it almost on a weekly basis, even if for a few seconds. It haunts me.

In a way, I am grateful. I am grateful that we didn't continue with most of the Babyunwise methods and I am grateful that my sweet girl's cries still affect me and touch my heart strings to this day. I am grateful that over the past two years I have learned more about the heart and character of our Lord, and that has caused me to be more discerning when it comes to parenting methods and how we are to love our children. I'm not sure where I heard it, or maybe I thought of it (highly unlikely!), but the best advice I have is this:

Parent your children like God parents you.

Patiently. Gently. Mercifully.
With kindness and love.
And with abundant grace. Grace overflowing.

I have since thrown out the parenting books... especially most of those labeled "Christian." It seems many Christians are so eager to tout grace and mercy, except when it concerns our precious children, even babies. Children may need to learn order, but how will they ever learn Grace unless we show it to them? We push and shove our children out the door of independence, not realizing that independent children come all too soon, without any pushing required. My little baby is now a big baby, usually not wanting me to hold her at all, she is much too busy for that. :)

What I wouldn't give to go back in time and be able to scoop up that sweet crying little baby and let her know that mommy is ALWAYS there for her... Even when it's inconvenient... Even when it's in the middle of the night, or when it makes me uncomfortable... Even when other people are telling me I am spoiling her or doing it "wrong"... I don't care what people think anymore. I don't care if they think I'm not doing it right or if they think my child will turn out to be a spoiled brat. People will think what they will, and then we will just prove them wrong. :)

The only one I dare to please is God, and Him alone. I beg for his mercies anew every day, knowing that the only way I can raise my daughter to be a godly woman is by his grace and guidance. Thank you God for second chances.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15

(.... And maybe next time I will share why we don't spank! But that's only when I want to feel the flames under my feet while I hang on the stake... Just kidding. Maybe.)

My Testimony

2010-09-22T09:25:00.000-05:00

I know, the title of this post is very original, but I didn't know what else to call it. We are joining a new church here in Jackson, MS and one of the things that Thomas and I have to do regarding membership is write out our testimony. I have tried to many times but when I look back on my life it just gets all very confusing and jumbled when it comes to the how's and when's of when I came to the Lord. So, anyways....

When I am asked to tell or write my testimony, I am always hesitant because it seems my life has been a hodge podge of different spiritual experiences leading up to my life today. I have no idea at which point I became a born again Christian and when I get to Heaven I think that will be one of my first questions I'd like to ask God! Most of that has to do with my parents unbiblical belief influences, my believing I was always a Christian, and then my growth as a Christian... Yet not knowing exactly when that "change" occurred. Confusing and strange, I know. :) Hopefully I can explain....
My parents met when they were both missionaries of The Way International, a "biblical research organization," (you can google it if you'd like) in Birmingham, Alabama. After I was born, they both left that organization because of some questionable things going on with the president of The Way, but they still held to the same beliefs and would meet from time to time with others that left the organization. Growing up I was taught these unbiblical beliefs my parents held (the biggest one being that Jesus Christ was not God in the flesh), but by the grace of God they weren't talked about a lot and they didn't seem to "stick" with me much. I didn't have much religion in my life at all growing up. I knew about God and Jesus, but never gave them much thought. I actually didn't know Christmas and Easter were about Jesus until I was a teenager. I always just assumed that believing in God was "enough" and that as long as a person believed in God (or a "god") then they were ok. Hindu, Muslim, Christian -- weren't they all the same and believed in the same God? I remember my mom telling me over and over that Jesus was not God and that speaking in tongues was very very important. I believed that Jesus was not God and not divine for a long time, way into high school. Even after that point, I struggled for awhile with the concept and read a lot about the divinity of Christ. I remember when my mom and I were walking in the city one day when I was young, a woman came up to me and gave me a gospel tract that talked about hell, repentance, and the cross. Some people believe that tracts are useless (or that talking about hell might scare people away), but I truly believe that one tract had an influence in planting a seed in my heart about Christ and my need for Him to cleanse me of my sin. I knew of the reality of hell and was terrified to go there. I would lay awake at night thinking about it, wondering if I was REALLY saved.

When I was in 7th grade, for some reason, my parents put me in a Christian private school for a year and I believe it was there that I heard the true Gospel for the first time. Of course, I would raise my hand when the guest speaker at chapel would ask if anyone would like to "accept Jesus into their heart," but again, not sure exactly if that was when I came to Christ. Ever since then, however, it seemed I became very interested in Christian things and I would do research online, ask questions at Christian message boards, read my Bible, and even defend the Christian faith in my many online debates. Even though I never went to church during this time, I feel that helped me to grasp the concepts of Christianity. I believe, however, that by the time I was in high school I was a true Christian, although I would struggle with certain things even into college.

When I was in high school, I never went to church because my parents looked down on the idea. All I heard growing up was that all churches wanted was your money. They also did not believe baptism was necessary, so that was out of the question when I was living at home, although I always knew it was something I needed to do. When I went to college in the fall of 2004, I joined a few Christian ministries (namely Chi Alpha) and also a sorority and started going to church for the first time in my life (a Southern Baptist church). I feel that I grew the most as a Christian while I was in college, attending church and other ministries, and was able to live out my faith and really find out what I believed. Needless to say, my mom and dad had a few things to say about me being baptised and we have had quite a few discussions about my "new" belief that Jesus Christ is, in fact, God (which of course, is one of the ultimate and most important beliefs in Christianity). We have come to an unofficial agreement to not talk about religion because it mostly ends with them yelling at me for my "Satanic" beliefs. After meeting Thomas, and especially after we were married, I feel that I have grown even more in my faith. We challenge each other, encourage each other, love to talk about theology together, and share what we learn and love to read the Word together and discuss. Thomas has been the biggest Christian influence in my life and I am honored to call him my husband.

Even though I dont know when I was saved, I know that I am and that "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) I am excited about our new life in Jackson and seeing what God has planned for our family and raising a Christian family of my own, a concept that is honestly pretty foreign to me. I know I will need a lot of grace and wisdom from the Lord in order to do this. I know that I am a sinner and it is only by His grace that I am saved. Thank God that His mercies are new every day!

So there ya go. :)

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." John 3:16-18

No more contractions! Phew! :)

2010-09-13T16:52:00.000-05:00

I havent updated in awhile, and Im sorry! Im incredibly horrible about it! :)

Ever since I posted last I've had a couple ultrasounds. One showed that my cervix was funneling, but was not thinning or dilating, so thats good. No, Im not sure exactly what all of these things mean, but none of them are a good thing, apparently!! So 2 weeks after that I had another ultrasound and I wasn't funneling anymore (yay!) but it showed my cervix thinning juuuuust a little bit. I think it went from 4.2cm to 3.2cm or something like that. The doctor wasn't concerned, and I have been feeling better, so that's good! I have maybe 2 or 3 contractions a day, so not bad at all!

I am 29 weeks today and I just praise God that little Vivian Grace (yes, this is her official name! ya like?) :) has stayed in for this long because I was so nervous for awhile that she might come early. I know that her little life is in His hands and I trust for Him to do what He sees best with her life! I can't wait to meet her, but hopefully not too soon! :)

Unfortunately, I won't be able to post any pictures for awhile as my darling daughter decided to jam my camera's lens and now it won't turn on. Joy. Let's see..... Sweet girl has broken our TV, my old computer, and now my camera. Not sure what is next, but maybe I need to learn to not let her play with electronics! LOL :) I plan on taking the camera to Geek Squad or something soon to see if it can be fixed... Lord knows we can't afford another camera right now but with little ones, its a necessity!!!! :)

Please keep me in your prayers. I have been suffering from some major anxiety and depression related to our six figure debt that we have to pay off over the next 9237402987 years. I am trying to be content in life and be happy where I am and not worry about tomorrow, but that's sooo hard for me right now.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Ready for baby? That's a big NO...

2010-08-16T21:20:00.000-05:00

The more I think about what I need to do to prepare for this babe I just get overwhelmed. So I try not to think about it. I wonder how much longer I can keep using that logic? I mean, we don't need a whole lot because I have "been there, done that" in terms of the whole parenting thing, but there are some things I need to do. I went through Char's old baby clothes last week and it seems I sold more of her stuff than I thought I did! We sold a lot of her stuff because we didn't know we were going to have another baby this soon and we just didn't have the storage space! Oh well.

I am 25 weeks as of today. I have a few months to get everything in order. Phew. There are a few books I'd like to look over before she gets here (breastfeeding books and baby sleep books and maybe a labor book or two). A few onesies need to be purchased. We need a carseat. I'd like to get a swing and a bouncy seat... Maybe a few more soft (pink!!) blankets... Some breast pump parts... Maybe a couple bottles (I'd like to try the Tommee Tippee kind! On a funny note, they really do look like a plastic boob, haha)... I need to figure out where this stinker is going to sleep (because, you know, babies do a lot of that :) ).. And the list goes on.

But!!! at least I have matching Big Sister/Little Sister shirts for the little princesses. I can check that off my list! :)

For Miss Vivian

For Miss Charlotte

In pregnancy news, everything has been fine lately. Contractions have gone away, or at least have just become the regular ole BH contractions. Nausea is *finally* gone, PRAISE JESUS. I haven't blown chunks in over 2 weeks, that is a very big milestone for me. :) Of course, it has been replaced with indigestion that makes me WANT to barf, but I mean, beggars can't be choosers I guess. My belly has popped out over the past couple weeks (again, finally!) and I'm actually starting to look like I have a bun in the oven instead of just a beer gut (and I don't even drink).

Next week, Charlotte starts a Mother's Morning Out type program at a local church. It lasts for 9 months and its only for 2 mornings a week (8:30am-noon) and I am pretty excited about it, for both of us! Every time she is around little ones her age she just has a blast and goes wild so I figure this can be a fun outlet for her. And hey, the wordless-chatterbox (ask me how that works)-child might even pick up a few words! Well, at least I hope they will be good and edifying words. :) And I might even be able to get some errands done, like... Grocery shopping sans toddler! Or go to the dentist! Or go to one of my million OB appointments! Or have some 1 on 1 time with the babe when she gets here. The possibilities are endless. I am excited. :)

Jan Brady Syndrome

2010-08-11T14:06:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever afraid your baby will suffer from this? Let me explain.

A worry that I have that is COMPLETELY unfounded, dumb, stupid, illogical, and weird is that this baby will have the Jan Brady Syndrome. You know, Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch. The 2nd daughter who always compared herself to the Golden Child -- Marcia Brady. Marcia was beautiful, talented, and "perfect" in the eyes of Jan. Jan was just kind of a clutz most of the time and wasn't as cute as Marcia was, and well, was a little on the dorky side.

Charlotte is a cutie. What if Vivian isn't as beautiful as Charlotte? As smart and as funny and witty and, ahem, as well behaved? :) What if she is the ugly duckling, always comparing herself to her wonderful big sister? Of course, I will love her just the same no matter how she looks, acts, or how her personality turns out to be. But it is a real thing that kids deal with, especially girls (from what I've heard). Char is a cutie, but I don't take any credit for that -- the child looks not a thing like me! She was even a cute newborn, and let's be honest, not all newborns are cute. LOL But either way, even if Vivian isn't a cute baby... Just lie and tell me she is!!!!!!! :)

Anyways, so yeah, that is a fear of mine. Jan Brady Syndrome. I am not saying all this to be vain or to imply that beauty is the say all, end all in a female's life. I actually want to instill in my daughter's hearts that beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. In our society beauty is so valued and so esteemed. I've struggled with it myself, coming close to bouts with bulimia when I was in high school. I don't want my babies to go through that, I want them to know they are wonderfully and fearfully made by the hands of the One who hung the heavens in the sky. And that they will ALWAYS be the most beautiful ladies on the planet to me!! :)

Trying to steal a kiss... She always moves away from me! :)

I mean, isn't she glamorous? LOL

my interesting weekend

2010-08-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

So this weekend started out great! :) Thomas and I had a date night at home with a movie, popcorn, and twizzlers. Saturday was fine, I got to sleep in and I tried to be as stress-free as possible all day because I had to work that night. So, I go to work and everything seems fine, I got a good patient group and it started out as a pretty simple night. I even got all my meds passed and my charting done (on 6 patients!) by 10pm. Usually I dont even sit down until around midnight, so it was a "good night." :)

About 10pm I sat down to chart and I thought to myself, "Hmm. My lower back really hurts..." It was the kind of hurt where I felt I needed counter-pressure to help it to feel better. Then I noticed that I was having some pretty painful lower abdominal cramps, kind of like bad menstrual cramps. I thought that was odd. I called Thomas and I told him what was going on and that I was pretty concerned. Of course, being the man he is, he kind of blew me off, haha, but I told him to Google "pre-term labor symptoms" for me. Lower back pain and abdominal cramps were 2 of the symptoms. GREAT! :) I remember reading before that if you are having cramps or pain to drink a lot of water and to rest. So I gulped down about 6 cups of water during the next hour... But the pain just seemed to get worse, and I think I even started having some light contractions. It was hard to tell if they were true contractions because of the cramping, it was just hard to distinguish. My co-workers saw me squirming in my seat because of my back pain so I told them what was going on. They thought I needed to go over to L&D to get checked out, but me and my stubborn self didn't want to... I mean, every pregnant woman has aches and pains, right? My pregnancy with Char was picture perfect (in terms of complications) so this one had to be the same way, in my mind. Well, the pain wouldn't go away so I did go down to L&D at about 11pm.

When I got there, they hooked me up to a monitor. For about an hour, I was just having a lot of back pain and really painful cramps. I felt contractions, but apparently they weren't showing up on the monitor. Around an hour after I got there, I started having painful contractions that showed up on the monitor. I think there were about 5-6 big ones. They hurt so bad I was nearly in tears and it was hard to move. Here I am, by myself in the hospital in the middle of the night, and I am having painful contractions at 23w 5d pregnant. Great!!!!

I was given a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions. It worked. Thank you, Jesus. I was still cramping and had a lot of back pain still, so a couple hours later they gave me another terb shot. That didn't seem to help much, so they sent me home. The doctor said the cramps were due to my uterus contracting and that it was tired. Or something to that effect. They checked my urine and said I was not dehydrated, which I was kind of frustrated at... If I was dehydrated, that'd be an easy problem to fix, you know? I did get a liter of fluid, though. Extra fluid is always nice when you are pregnant! :) I was released at about 3:30am and drove home with my heart about to burst out my chest (thank you, terbutaline!!).

Sunday I was still pretty crampy and my back hurt. I was having contractions, though nor painful, all day long. They seemed to get more painful as the afternoon went on. Of course, not having dealt with this before, I was nervous so I called my doc and she told me to come in and get checked. To make a long story short, of course when I get there, my contractions stop. They gave me some Procardia to take at home for the cramps. We were released and I went home and slept all night.

Today I woke up feeling pretty normal. No cramps or pain or anything like that. Phew!!! I had a doctor's appointment and I had an ultrasound done and my cervix is nice and closed and long. Sorry if that is TMI for some of you folks, LOL. That was like music to my ears. As long as I am not dilating, everything is fine. My doctor just told me to take it easy, that I can still work (yay for extra money!!), and to just keep taking the Procardia when I'm going to be active, like at work or something.

As of right now... I feel... ok. Over the past few hours, I have had a bunch of contractions. I am trying not to be paranoid super freak pregnant woman, but I am trying to drink a lot of fluids to see if that helps. I still feel pretty crampy, but maybe that is normal. I dont know. I'm sure everything will be fine, we'll just take it day by day and pray to the One who has both mine and Vivian Grace's lives in His hands. I know that it is ALL under His control and He is good, all the time. Please pray for us. Hopefully this weekend was just a fluke and that all will be back to normal soon. Thank you SO MUCH to all of our friends and family that has prayed for us. God answers prayer, and I know that this is the reason why everything is fine so far!! So thank you. :)

Date Night!

2010-08-03T23:31:00.001-05:00

Tonight Thomas and I went on a rare date night. I dont think we've had a REAL date night in.. well... 6 months? Very sad, I know. But we have found a great baby sitter that Charlotte seems to just love so we finally got a night out! :) We didn't too anything too exciting. It was nice to drive around outside at night!! Haha, don't get to do that much anymore with a little one.

We went to Sal & Mookies, a really nice pizza and ice cream parlor type restaurant. It was SO GOOD and we even got my meal free because they brought out something that I didn't order. I told them that it wasn't a problem and that we could pay for my meal, but the waiter insisted! Ok, fine then. :) Then we went to Borders Books and just hung around and read. Yes, we are very interesting. We were going to see a movie, but it didn't start in time so maybe we'll do that next date night. Here is a prego pic I took before we left, I am 23 weeks 1 day in this picture. :)

Baby Girl Hill :)

2010-06-29T16:27:00.000-05:00

Well, let me rephrase that, "We are 90% certain it will be Baby Girl Hill." Hahaha. We had our 18 week ultrasound today and everything checks out great... Baby is healthy, is right on track for growth, and everything looks great. Only thing is the u/s tech couldn't say 100% on whether it's a girl or a boy!

The tech didn't print me any booty shots (I know, I should have asked!! I got a picture of a foot!! Stupid me!!) but we stared for a LOOOONG time at that area and I am 100% sure it's a girl. The tech said she is "pretty sure" it is a girl, but just didn't want to say for sure because she thought it was too early (what? at 18 weeks? I dont think so) and that the legs were crossed. Ok, this babies legs were at a 90 degree angle, or wider! I could see the "3 labia lines" perfectly. I have been scouring the Internet looking at u/s pics and it seems to me that it would be VERY obvious at this point if it was a little boy. ;-)

Anyways, I guess the bright side of all this is that I go back in 4 weeks to get another ultrasound "just to make sure." Pretty disappointing... But I am going with girl for now. If she happens to grow a weewee in the next 4 weeks, well, I'll only be 22 weeks and won't be too far along. Have you ever heard of the mamas who are told they are having a boy/girl but end up delivering the opposite??? Man, talk about the shock of a lifetime!!!

So I guess any cute clothes I buy between now and then I'll just need to save the receipts.

I am so excited for Char to have a baby sister!!!! And I am so excited to go through all the baby girl things again.... Cute clothes, PINK, sweet hair, hair bows, and of course, another daddy's girl. :-)

On another note.... Here are some names we are considering. I love names that are classic and unique, but not too quirky or strange. I can't stand trendy or names that everyone has. (Sorry, just my personal preference)

So. What do you think?
(Oh, and BTW... We probably won't be announcing the name until she is born!)

Vivian
Hosanna
Evelyn
Rachel
Clara
Lydia
Claudia

Anyone else hate being the newbie?

2010-06-14T21:59:00.001-05:00

Today I started my first day at my neeeeeeew job! Actually, it was just a bunch of classroom orientation stuff (you know, like rules, regulations, HIPAA, safety, blah), so it was incredibly boring, but it was easy money, nonetheless! :) This hospital is much bigger than what I'm used to... About twice the size of EAMC. I mean, my orientation had 80 other new hires in it! Of course, most of them were new nursing grads (aww, I remember being one of them myself!) but still!

So anyways, it was basically a bunch of power point slides and me wishing I had packed some chewing gum because that horrible pregnancy taste wouldn't leave my mouth! Ugh! I did eventually get some in the gift shop though, thank you Lord!

For this 2 weeks of orientation I have to be at, we had to find someone to watch little Char while I was away. Since we don't know a soul here yet and have no family here, I found someone who I think is going to work great! She and Char hit it off well and it sounds like they had a great day together. She brought her 3 year old son over, too, and it sounds like they got along great! Apparently after I left, Charlotte just stared at her for 30 minutes. hahaha. And then she proceeded to show her all of her toys. When I got home this afternoon, I was SOOO excited to see my baby! Of course, she acted like I wasn't there, and cried when the sitter left. Figures. Little stinker!

Baby News: Nothing new! Just still sick as a dog, horrible indigestion that even Pepcid won't touch, and just... Yes, me being my whiny self. But I think Thomas is used to it by now. Poor guy. I think even at this point HE doesn't want me to get pregnant again! LOL

I am 16 weeks today so I am pretty annoyed that I am still feeling sick. Oh, second trimester honeymoon period, where are you???? But I'm still waiting to feel those baby kicks! I felt Char move at 16 weeks, so it should be any time now! Of course, I'm fatter now than I was before, so I'm sure I can't feel anything through all this cushion!

A Mighty Fortress is Our God

2010-06-12T23:10:00.000-05:00

I love Christy Nockels. She is probably the Celine Dion of Christian music, her voice is just incredible.... Especially when she sings a song like this. I've been listening to it over and over tonight. I just love it. Gives me chills! Enjoy.

Boy or Girl?

2010-06-11T20:40:00.000-05:00

Just put a new poll up! Do you think we are having a boy or a girl? Vote!! :)

Get ready for a monster blog post....

2010-06-11T20:22:00.000-05:00

I know, I haven't updated this thing in a long time! I need to get better at that.

But anyways, we are doing well here in the Hill family, over in our new home in Jackson, MS (well, Brandon, MS more specifically). We've been here for about 3 weeks now and we are really enjoying the area. It reminds me a lot of Birmingham (where I was raised) and has a LOT of shopping areas, restaurants, and tons and TONS of parks to take Lil Bit. We are trying to find a church still... We haven't been here for the last few Sundays so we are a little behind on that. A couple weekends ago my grandmother died so we went to Birmingham to go to her funeral, and then last week we went on a cruise to the Bahamas with Thomas' family. The cruise was amazing! We went with basically all of Thomas' family, there were about 26 of us. Fun times were had by all. Here are a few snapshots....

The happy couple

Not sure what we were doing here... LOL

Char and her dredz!

Our boat

Charlotte with her Aunt Lynne (sorry, I dont know how to do the little line over the e! lol) and her Grandma (Thomas' mama)

I don't have any pictures from our apartment yet because... Well... It's still messy as all get out. Let's just say we have a HUGE kitchen with too many cabinets (is there such a thing?) and Char has lots of room to run around and play now. Thomas has started his job and he really likes it. It will take a lot of time for him to get used to his new environment, and being "the newbie" is never fun for anyone, really! :) He thinks he'll really be challenged. He found out they only hired 2 people into his program, out of the 20-something people they interviewed last Fall. I'm not sure if that's just how many accepted the position or if they were just really picky. Thomas says that the other employees are really high caliber, though, so it was probably the ladder. I am so proud of my sweet husband!

I start my job orientation on Monday and it lasts for 2 weeks. Not sure what we'll be doing for 2 weeks, but I'll find out soon! This hospital uses teal scrubs for nurses which is just great because I dont have any teal scrubs! They also don't allow any printed tops, just plain teal or white. BOOORRRING. Oh well. Working 2 days a week but getting paid full-time is the trade off!

In baby news, well, there isn't much. I had my doctor's appointment at our new local office yesterday, and it was... Well, it was just ok. First of all, we (Char and I) were late because earlier that morning I had "paperwork" and drug testing to do at the hospital in order to start on Monday... They told me it would last an hour... No, it lasted 3 hours and I was late to my doctor's appointment. I met with the Nurse Educator. Apparently, you have to meet with the Nurse Educator before you can see a doctor. So, since I was late, she had an attitude towards me at first. Fine, whatever, I understand. Then she starts asking me all these health history question, how my pregnancy was last time, do I plan on getting an epidural, etc..... And then she asked me if it is a boy if I plan on circumcising. I told her that I wasn't sure yet because I have come across a lot of research that says it is better to nor circumcise. Wrong thing to say! Ha. She gave me this dirty look and told me that I was crazy if I didn't circumcise my son (if, indeed, it is a son) and that he'll get infections and all this other nonsense that isn't true. I still have a lot to read up about it, but I'm going to wait until I know the gender and I'll cross that bridge when I come to it! :) But I don't think her response was the best. As a nurse, I know you are supposed to be the patient advocate and be pretty neutral on such topics. But what do I know?

But I did schedule my doctor's appointment AND the "big ultrasound"! Woohoo! It'll be on June 29! A little over 2 weeks from now! I am so psyched about it, I cannot WAIT to see what this beanie is!!! I'm thinking it's a boy, even though I want another little girl.... We'll see! At first I thought this pregnancy was different than before, but it really is turning out to be very similar. Hmmmm....

I'm still feeling pretty sick all the time, though. *sigh* I am 15w 4d today. I had a feeling this would happen. It has gotten better, but I'm still sick to my stomach pretty much 24/7 again and I throw up about 5 times a week, usually at night. It was the craziest thing, though... While on the cruise I felt great! No nausea, no puking, nothing... Ok, I had a couple bouts of nausea, but I just popped a Zofran and everything was fine. But as we were making the 12 hour long trek back to MS from FL (where our cruise port was), I started getting nauseous again and it hasn't stopped since. My guess is that it had something to do with the sea level? I dont know, but I'm thinking I want to just live at the beach now! Ha.

So that's the big updates for now. I'll be updating this thing more, for sure!

Graduation and Moving!

2010-05-10T19:26:00.000-05:00

10 more days.

That's how long I will be in Auburn, AL. I've lived here for the last 6 years and I'll admit I've become quite attached to the little town. I mean, it's not my favorite place to live in.... Way too small and not enough to do! Haha. But in 10 days my small family and I will be moving to Brandon, MS, right outside of Jackson, MS. I'll admit that the move has kind of crept up on me, it seems like just the other day Thomas got the job offer (which actually happened right before Thanksgiving). Good thing we don't have to pack! Or load up the truck! Or unpack! Thank you, wonderful job benefits!

I haven't been working for about the past month. I kind of miss working. I miss my coworkers and all of their quirkiness. I only hope that my future coworkers will be as awesome as those I had at EAMC. :-) I went on two job interviews last week. To sum it up they both went well and I basically have my choice of where I want to work. One is a position on a Renal/Nephrology/Kidney Transplant unit that, unfortunately, I'm going to turn down because of the lack of cheddar offered. The other one is a float position and... Well, let's just say they really convinced me to work for them. ;-) I knew I went into nursing for a reason! But I did like both hospitals and I won't start until June 14 so I have another month off to try to get better from this horrible morning (all day!!!) sickness....

We move next Thursday, May 20. We still haven't sold our trailer, but I'm not worried about it at all, I know God will send someone our way. At the last moment it seemed a lot of repairs that we need to do just kind of decided to pop up so we'll have those done after we move out.

In other news, I am 11 weeks prego today. Only 2 more weeks in the horrible 1st trimester! I do feel better lately than I did in the beginning, but I still have days where I am sick (like today, ugh!) and can't do much other than lay on the couch and pray Char doesn't get into something dangerous. Or messy.

Speaking of the little booger, here are some new pics... I can't believe how big she is getting! She is almost 17 months old, where has the time gone?!?

Getting into mama's makeup bag....

Happy Mother's Day, mom!

The New Baby Hill!

2010-04-26T21:46:00.000-05:00

Last Friday I had my second doctor's appointment and my first ultrasound! Apparently they aren't routine at Lee OB/GYN, but I told my doc that, uhh, I wasn't exactly sure when my last period was. Well, ok, yes I knew the date but my cycles are always wacky! And it's a good thing I did because (and it's not like I LIKE this) they moved my due date back 5 days to November 29. Ugh! That means 5 more whole days of first trimester pukeyness than I was hoping for! Oh well. It's possible, too, that I might have another December baby... In which case December will always be THE month in the Hill household, soooo I'm kind of hoping that he/she stays in November. We'll see.

Here are some pictures of the little bean....

Little beanie at 8w 4d! See the cute little arms and legs??? :)

My MIL says she thinks she can see a "tallywacker." LOL I don't think they have those this early!

This is my favorite! You can see her (*ahem*) arms, legs, and you can even see the fingers! And I THINK, if I get real close, I can even make out eye and nose sockets. How amazing is God's creation.

And that's about it! Not much happened at the appointment, just had an exam (fun times) and begged and pleaded with my doctor to give me something else for this terrible nausea! All she told me to do was double up on the Zofran. Thanks, dude, as if I haven't tried that. (BTW -- The side effects that Zofran does on your, umm, "pipes" leaves much to be desired! On that note I'll just say that now I know my husband REALLY REALLY loves me!!! LOL)

But seriously, yesterday and today I have felt slightly better. I still puked up my dinner about 15 minutes ago, but throughout the day I felt better than I have in weeks. Still queasy, but... Well, you get the idea. :) Hopefully I'll continue to feel better! It was great being able to be with my daughter today and I could tell she loved being with mommy, too.

God, I love that child.

Char's 15 (err 16) month stats

2010-04-16T13:28:00.001-05:00

So, recently, the Biggun had her 15 month appointment. Ok, it was when she was 16 mos, but who cares? The fact is that she went, got some shots, and then got weighed (THE most important thing!)

Turns out she's still a lil bit but still growing tall. She's grown over a foot since she was born!

For those that care (you know, grandparents and such), here are her stats:

Weight: 22 lb 10 oz (35%ile)
Height: 33 inches! (90%ile)
Head: Don't really care... But she has a big ole head!

This was Thomas' first time to take the Biggun to one of her well baby doctor appointments. I figure it's good daddy training! He did pretty well, if I do say so, he remembered her weight and height and everything. Good job, babe! :)

I have still yet to cut her hair... Bad mama!

Misery

2010-04-11T21:41:00.000-05:00

That is where I have been for the past week.

Excuse me for what will follow as a complete whine fest but I think I deserve it.

I have been so sick for the past week or so and it seems to only get worse every day. I knew this would happen. Why did I want another baby? I know that is horrible to say and that children are blessing's from God, but I don't know why being pregnant has to be so hard on me. I throw up every day, multiple times a day, and when I'm not throwing up I'm trying hard NOT to throw up. It is so hard to eat and near impossible to hold anything down. And when I do find something that I can hold down, I get horrible indigestion that makes me want to puke. Oh, and the metallic taste. Gross! I can't get rid of it and it's really annoying the heck out of me.

And I'm only 7 weeks along. God, please help me.

I was sick like this with Charlotte and I guess I held on to some sliver of hope that I wouldn't be as sick next time but I guess that just didn't work out. I was sick for 21 long and painful weeks with Charlotte and even after that I threw up occasionally and struggled with terrible indigestion. I really am a miserable pregnant woman. I am so jealous of women who have little or no nausea while pregnant. Or women who are nauseous but don't throw up or their sickness ends after the first trimester. Please God, let this end soon.... What I have is a very mild case of hyperemesis. I haven't lost any weight (yet), but I can't imagine that won't happen soon. My throat hurts from throwing up and it's near impossible to eat or drink anything without feeling horrible for hours afterwards. *sigh*

Today I hardly got out of bed. I just couldn't do it. Every time I walked I got nauseated and gagged and had to lay back down. I feel so guilty about this because I feel like I'm not having fun with Charlotte anymore and she is missing out. Thomas has been so fantastic through all of this, he has totally taken on the roles of baby caretaker and food maker.

And just the thought of going back to work this week makes me ill. I don't know how I'm going to do it especially since I can't even get out of bed!

Thank God for a wonderful church family who has sent over meals and food for us (mainly for my poor husband and child! ha) and are praying for me. Thank you ladies so much, it really does mean a lot.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound like a complete whiner, I really don't mean to be. I just feel very alone and miserable ALL the time. I would appreciate your prayers but please hold off on the advice. I have tried it all (I promise!) and nothing has worked, even the 8mg of Zofran I take every 8 hours or so. Only thing I haven't tried is the SeaBands so I might get some of those tomorrow but I can't imagine they'd do anything either!!! :(

Thanks for reading and for your prayers.

Why I Want To Homeschool

2010-03-31T22:38:00.000-06:00

I have had many people in the past (and I'm sure I'll get it in the future!) why I want to homeschool my children. There really is no easy answer as it is a broad question with many elements. I recently stumbled across a blog post that explains exactly why I want to homeschool my kids. I won't even bother rewriting it, the author has said it all already! :)

http://thelorentzens.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-i-homeschool.html

The Last Week

2010-03-29T19:17:00.000-06:00

Mommy and Miss Charlotte!

I guess this past week just got away from me. It just flew by and now I notice I haven't blogged any. I'm supposed to be writing down my child's life here! ha.

Well, the past week... Let's see. I had my first OB appointment last Wednesday and I guess that went pretty well, just the usual blood work, "Are you taking your prenatals?", when was your last menstrual period... All that fun stuff. Char came with me since I couldn't find anyone else to watch her and she actually did great! She was quite the ham and everyone commented on how adorable she was. What's new? ;-)

In other prego news, I am still feeling great! Which makes me feel bad. And scared. I get nausea here and there, but it doesn't last. It feels more like heartburn. What if something is wrong? I guess my reasoning that nothing is wrong is that I am having other symptoms, too, like sore "chest area," frequent urination, extreeeeeeme tiredness... Wow, I could sleep 12 hours a day. Crazy! But then I guess I am only nearing 6 weeks so this could take a turn at literally any moment. I'm counting my sick-free days as blessings!

Other than that... I went to work this weekend, and.. Let's just say... Friday night was probably the worst night I have ever had. I won't go into too much because I don't know who reads this blog but it wasn't due to the patients. Ugh! Glad that's over with.

Since I can't think of anything else to write, I'll just leave you with some adorable pictures of The Princess. :-)

In one of her dazes again...

Thinking up her new schemes...

Charlotte and Susan, my best friend and the one who took me to Walmart to get the digital pregnancy test!! Haha!!

Yes, those are pink hearts on her diaper! :-)

Big Announcement!!!

2010-03-21T22:09:00.000-06:00

For those who haven't heard, Charlotte is going to be a big sister!!!! :)
I am totally SHOCKED still. I just got my IUD taken out last month! How did it happen so fast, and we really weren't even trying!! I figured it would take a few months at least!! Just call me Fertile Myrtle.. :)

Yes, I am excited (and Thomas is, too!) but I am also terrified. Two children two years apart? What am I thinking? Am I nuts?

I'm terrified that this pregnancy will be like my last one was. It was horrible. I was terribly sick from week 5 until week 24, puked just about every day (several times a day). At some points I had forgotten what it felt like to feel normal! I remember one day throwing up so much that my throat bled and for days it felt like I had a cotton ball stuck in the middle of it. For what it's worth, I feel fine right now, but I'm only about 4 weeks 5 days along. It's like the calm before the storm.... I didn't start feeling sick until 5 weeks with Charlotte. So we'll see. God, please have mercy on me!!!! In any case, I'm going to be calling the doc tomorrow and asking for a Zofran prescription. I've read that being on meds before you get sick actually helps to reduce the amount of sickness. Here's to hoping!!!

My tentative due date is November 24, 2010. I can foresee Holidays becoming very very busy for us!!! Thomas' birthday is Dec 2, Charlotte's birthday is Dec 15, our anniversary is Dec 16, and of course, you have Christmas and New Years. And then this baby's birthday end of November, around Thanksgiving. CRAZY!!

Nonetheless, we thank God for this little blessing. Please pray for him or her to continue to grow and develop properly as God intends. Thank you! :)

Happy 15 Months.

2010-03-15T10:16:00.000-06:00

Charlotte,
Today you are 15 months old. That's approximately 555 days. I can hardly believe that you have been with us and I have been your mommy that long. You are growing up so fast, it's like every time I blink something changes: your hair gets longer, your rubberband wrists start to disappear, you add a word (or sign) to your vocabulary, and you look more like a kid and less like a baby. Right now you are doing so many cute things, I can hardly catch up! You love to point at all the new things you discover. Today, it was the window that you look at every time you eat in your highchair. You love to point to the dogs and say "dah," one of your very few words. :) You love to feed Crowder, although sometimes he doesn't realize your love for him and will nip your finger and you'll come running up to me to kiss it to make it feel better. You have been pretty clingy lately, but I hear this is normal for your age, so don't worry, I love it because I know one day you're going to be pushing me away.

You love to give kisses. Yesterday I was laying on the bed and you were playing with the bedroom door (like always, you love to shut every door in the house!) and I said, "Charlotte, come give mama kisses!" and you forgot about your door closing fun and walked over just to give me a big, wet. open-mouthed, slobbery kiss. Those are the best kind. You are just so sweet.

However, you have quite the temper! I wonder where you get that from? :) We've seen a few of your tantrums, but all I have to do is distract you and you go back to playing and forget what you were so mad about. You are a pretty easy baby so far, but I know that can change instantly. I think I'm ready for the challenge. :)

You're favorite song is, "Jesus Loves Me," and we sing and sign it before bed every night, right after we read Goodnight Moon or your Bible Story Book and before we pray to God. You love to point and look at all the colorful pictures and say, "Dis?" I can't tell if you're trying to say, "What's this?" or "I like this! Can I have one, too?" I guess either one will work.

I love you. I love you more than I thought I ever could love a child. I couldn't imagine my life without you and I'm grateful to God that He gave you to me. I pray for your salvation every day and pray that God will raise you up to be a godly woman, eager to serve Him and praise His name. I look forward to that, there is nothing else that would please me more.

I look forward to the future with you. When you start to talk, when you start to ask, "Why?" about everything, when you have those "Aha!" moments about the things of God... I can't wait for any of it. You are the sweetest, cutest, little toddler ever and I love you. :)

Happy 15 Months, Charlotte Rose.

Love,
Mommy

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, “‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise’?”
(Matthew 21:15-16)

First Day in Cloth!

2010-03-12T20:13:00.001-06:00

To most people (especially if you don't have little ones in the home) this post will be completely boring. So you can click out of this blog now if you want to. :-)

Today was our first day totally in cloth diapers! It took awhile for all the diapers I ordered to come in and then I had to prep them and yada yada yada... So today was the day. Well, ACTUALLY, last night was the first time... Dont ask me why I wanted to risk it but I did, haha. She slept in a Fuzzi Bunz dipe last night. No leaks! And this is from a babe who's morning diaper could knock someone out cold!

The kinds I bought are mostly pocket snap diapers with a few velcro thrown in there. I bought a couple Fuzzi Bunz, a couple used Bumgenius 3.0, a few SmartiPants, but most of my stash is Kawaiis. Yes, they are an eBay diaper, but they got awesome reviews online and at only about $6 a diaper, I couldn't resist!

Attack of the bed head!

I dont know why but she was just actin' all shy when she got up from her nap :)

Chillin' on the couch...

So far, I really like cloth diapers. They're so cute and seem to be just as easy as disposables. We've had no leaks so far in any of the diapers, which is good especially because she has chicken legs and I wasn't sure if some of the dipes were too big or not. :) Plus, we'll be saving money. I figure each disposable diaper is about .20 each so these babies will pay for themselves in just a few months. Yay for saving money! Oh, and I also won a SmartiPants dipe in a blog giveaway this week! Woohoo! :)

To be honest, the one thing I dont like about it (and Im sure most CDers can say the same) is the poop. TMI ALERT -- Char's poop is usually brown and solid. Normal. The past week or so it has been yellow and soft. I'm thinking it's because she's teething (workin' on those molars!) but I dont know. HOPEFULLY this will pass soon because let's just say that dealing with 2 of those kind of diapers today was not fun! I think I'm going to invest in one of those nifty diaper sprayers....

Oh, and Thomas likes it, too! He worked all day today but he changed her into her nighttime diaper. He did a good job! :)

TTFN!

And I'll leave you with a cute video of Charlotte eating applesauce with a spoon :)

Where we are right now...

2010-03-06T12:16:00.000-06:00

In a few weeks Thomas and I will be trekking over to Mississippi one more time before the big move. We're going to be scoping out apartments and see if we can find a place to live! I REALLY don't want to move back into an apartment. I mean, I REALLY don't. We don't want to buy because we don't have a down payment and we don't want the upkeep and costs that come with home ownership -- at least not right now, not until we pay off his loans. I guess I'm going to have to swallow my pride and allow God to teach me a few lessons. Sometimes I feel like I "deserve" more (there goes my prideful self, again). I mean, I'm a college graduate for goodness sakes! And my hubs is going to be an engineer! We are above "apartment living." Ha. Such silly logic, but it is how I feel sometimes. LORD, help me tame my prideful spirit.

I would really like to rent a house but I just honestly don't know where to look. I've tried looking online (I consult Dr. Google for everything!) but they just don't list house rentals as much as they do apartments. Any advice for trying to find one? I've thought maybe we could pick up a newspaper while we're over there, but I don't know. Can you tell I'm clueless about this sort of thing?

Otherwise, we are doing... alright. I feel so weak spiritually right now. I just feel so busy all the time and it's hard to keep up. I feel overwhelming guilt ALL the time about working outside the home and being away from Charlotte for 30 hours a week. I know it could be worse, but still... Mommy guilt eats me alive some days. I try to run to the Lord and to the Bible, but honestly, sometimes I just forget. I have it in my head that I'm going to do it, but then I get busy and before I know it 3-4 days have passed. I need to start bringing my Bible to work. Sometimes I read Biblegateway.com but there's just something about reading the printed Word that just... reaches me. I don't know.

Charlotte has been fabulous, as usual. She had a bit of a cold this past week, but you wouldn't be able to even tell she was sick if it wasn't for the green gunk leaking from her nose. She has picked up a few new signs (apple!) and has gotten more and more interactive, just over the past week, than she had been before. It's so amazing to watch this little person walk, talk, interact... The glory of God, I tell ya.

Here is said little person being silly as always.....

Taking a monkey on a piggy back ride...

Yes, my favorite hairstyle to put her hair in is the whale water spout.. hahah

Right now we are just enjoying a beautiful Saturday afternoon here in Alabama. It's a little cool outside, but I can tell spring is just right around the corner... Which, for us, means lots of packing, selling, and looking forward to new things!

Charlotte kisses!

2010-03-06T11:44:00.000-06:00

One of the sweetest things in life is to get kisses from your little one! She doesn't quite get the "pucker" part, but she loves to give a wet slobbery kiss. Here she is kissin' her daddy! :)

She's a signing girl!

2010-03-03T22:13:00.000-06:00

I have been signing with Charlotte since she was about 7 months old. I had heard about Baby Sign Language before I was ever pregnant and knew it was something I wanted to do, it just seemed to fun and just another learning opportunity for children. I also went to an alternative elementary school so we learned sign language there, too. Im not fluent in ASL by any means, but I could probably get by with spelling everything out with a deaf person if I had to! Charlotte and I watch the "Baby Signing Time" (see above) videos, too, and she loves to watch the little babies sign.

Well, until about a week ago Charlotte had REFUSED to sign. Oh, she'll throw me a teaser of "all done" some times after she's finished eating, but very rarely. And of course, she doesn't speak much so she has basically wanted to communicate by whining. I was really frustrated and didn't know how to get her to sign or speak. So I just stuck with it and BAM...

All of a sudden, over this past weekend she has been signing up a storm! It's like it just clicked in her little brain and she figured out, "Hey, I can get what I want by doing these little hand motions!" :)

She is really good at signs having to do with food (she is a Hill, of course) and loves to sign "eat," "more," and "all done." She will sometimes sign "milk," too. Other non-food signs she will do are "shoes" (although it looks like "more"), "potty," "dog," and... maybe a few others I'm forgetting at the moment.

I will try to catch a video of her signing, it's so cute! So yeah, Im glad I kept with it! Hopefully this will help us communicate better and she'll be able to tell me what she wants instead of throwing the tantrum of the century.

Minnesota Mama Must Haves Birthday Bash!

2010-03-03T21:07:00.001-06:00

I normally don't post stuff about other blogs, but I just really wanted to post about this one! Ok, I know I don't live in Minnesota and honestly don't care to ever live in Minnesota... But this blog is amazing! There are always TONS of giveaways going on (p.s. sorry for all the diaper tweets!) and starting April 1st, in celebration of her daughter's birthday, they are going to be giving away a ton of stuff! So be sure to stay tuned and go take a visit to Minnesota Mama Must Haves!! :)

Jumping on the CD bandwagon...

2010-03-01T22:42:00.000-06:00

Why would I want to start cloth diapering a 14 month old? Because it seems that LS (Lil Stinker) is nowhere near wanting to potty train. *sigh* Oh well. And that's ok! Plus, I'm lazy and don't feel like propping her on the pot every 30 minutes. Even if she were ready, she probably would still need pull ups or something or other for night time, right? :) Besides, we plan on having more kiddos (hopefully soon?? ;) so I know they won't go to waste. And have you seen the modern cloth diapers? They are way cute and look nothing like those white nappies your Grandma used to use.

So I've decided to start cloth diapering, at least part time at first. I've found a few off brand all-in-one/one size online that have rave reviews so I bought a bunch of those to see if I actually like CDing. And I got a Fuzzy Bunz. And a Smartipants. I also got a diaper pail bag and some detergent. Even got a free cloth changing pad. I'm all set! (I think? Have I forgotten anything?)

We'll see how long this lasts!

Atheism really is laughable

2010-03-01T10:59:00.000-06:00

Glad John Piper agrees!

Gatlinburg!

2010-02-27T15:58:00.000-06:00

So, I have realized I am falling into my old non-blogging habits! Ahh! I was hoping to keep up with this thing. Oh well, we do the best we can, right?

Anyways, last weekend the hubs and I had a chance to take a much needed getaway. We went to Gatlinburg, TN and it was so much fun! I liked the area, although it tended to be a little too touristy for me. There was sooo much to do, though, and of course we couldn't do everything. I missed Charlotte, of course, but I knew she was in great hands and being taken care of.

We stayed in an awesome cabin. It was a little more expensive than I thought it would be so I probably wouldn't go that route again, BUT.... It was such a nice experience. Here are some pics...

Our little getaway cabin!

Someone needs to get out in the sun more! Eek!!

So nice to lounge around in...

Of course, this was our favorite part -- the hot tub!

Gatlinburg is in the Smoky Mountains so of course we couldn't go without snapping some pictures of a part of God's glorious creation.

Of course when you're in Gatlinburg you have to go up on the Skylift. It takes you to the top of a close mountain where you are able to just see the mountains and take it all in. And people say there is no God? God's creation is just so amazing to me and just so beautiful.

On the Skylift... It was pretty scary as Im NOT a fan of heights...

The happy couple!

Moi

I'm not going to bore anyone with all the details but it was a fun getaway sans baby. We went to a place called Wonder Works which was basically a mind amusement park. It was full of sciency stuff and had a few rides and... laser tag! Which, of course, we had to play!! It was fun, although I didn't win LOL.

We also shopped a bit in downtown Gatlinburg, ate at one of the 1,284 pancake restaurants in the area, and bought some fudge. Yum! We also went to Dixie Stampede, a dinner show owned by Dolly Parton. You aren't allowed to use any silverware, you have to use your hands. It was so fun and had a lot of animal stuff including horses (and little ponies!) and potbelly pigs. Ha.

Waiting on the show to start!

We didn't get home until 9pm on Sunday night so Charlotte was already asleep. I loved reaching into her pack n play, picking her up, and taking her home. I realize I hate being away from her. We plan on going back to Gatlinburg maybe in April and taking us with her! We will probably do more "nature" type stuff next time, maybe some horseback riding!

Anyone wanna come with? :)

Car Seat Safety

2010-02-11T15:38:00.001-06:00

Before I had a child, I had no idea how important car seat safety was. I guess I just figured a car seat is a car seat and as long as your child is in one, it doesn't matter if he/she is facing forward or back, because they'll just be safe.

Wrong.

People who know me know that I am a research FIEND. Before I do anything (especially when it comes to safety in cars -- I mean, seriously, I just don't trust other drives that much) I research it to death and implement the best and safest plan into my life. Having a child has only amplified this urge and that is how I came across extending rear-facing (ERFing).

Now, we all know that infant carriers are to be exclusively rear-facing (RFing). And we may all have heard the previous AAP recommendation that it is ok to turn your child around to forward-facing (FFing) when your child turns 1 year old and is AT LEAST 20 lbs. Did you know the AAP recommendation has changed? It is now recommended that children stay RFing until the age of 2 years old (in a 5-point harness convertible seat -- NOT a booster! Those aren't appropriate until school age), and preferrably until the maximum weight and height restrictions of the car seat. Charlotte is almost 14 months old and still rides RFing in a Britax Marathon. This particular seat RF up to 35 lbs and about 49 in tall (well, as long as there is about an inch or so of seat left above the child's head) and FF up to 65 lbs! She'll be in 2nd grade by then, ha.

Following Char's current growth, she'll probably outgrow RFing due to her height before her weight (she is a skinny minny!) But my plan is to leave her RFing for as long as possible. It is shown to be over 400% safer than FFing. Actually, we would ALL be safer RFing, but that just isn't compatible with driving. :)

I'll get off my high horse and just say this: Leave your child RFing for as long as possible, preferrably until your child outgrows the height/weight limits of the convertible seat. Even a minor forward end car accident can cause serious trauma to young necks/spinal cords (internal decapitation -- doesn't that just sound scary?) if the child is FFing prematurely. Yes, it is easier to strap a toddler in FFing, they see better out the window, etc but it is definitely not safer and just not worth it, if you ask me.

Check out these Youtube! videos and google "extended rear facing" for more info.

GLORIFIED

2010-02-09T16:56:00.000-06:00

Glorified - a poem by John Piper

And then the Lord
Wiped every tear away and turned
To see his bride. Her heart had yearned
Four thousand years for this: His face
Shone like the sun, and every trace
Of wrath was gone. And in her bliss
She heard the Master say, “Watch this:
Come forth all goodness from the ground,
Come forth and let the earth redound
With joy.” And as he spoke, the throne
Of God came down to earth and shone
Like golden crystal full of light,
And banished once for all the night.
And from the throne a stream began
To flow and laugh, and as it ran,
It made a river and a lake,
And everywhere it flowed a wake
Of grass broke on the banks and spread
Like resurrection from the dead.

And in the twinkling of an eye
The saints descended from the sky.

And as I knelt beside the brook
To drink eternal life, I took
A glance across the golden grass,
And saw my dog, old Blackie, fast
As she could come. She leaped the stream—
Almost—and what a happy gleam
Was in her eye.

I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere
I turned I saw a wonder there.
A big man running on the lawn:
That’s old John Younge with both legs on.
The blind can see a bird on wing,
The dumb can lift his voice and sing.
The diabetic eats at will,
The coronary runs uphill.
The lame can walk, the deaf can hear,
The cancer-ridden bone is clear.
Arthritic joints are lithe and free,
And every pain has ceased to be.

And every sorrow deep within,
And every trace of lingering sin
Is gone. And all that’s left is joy,
And endless ages to employ
The mind and heart to understand
And love the sovereign Lord who planned
That it should take eternity
To lavish all his grace on me.

O God of wonder, God of might,
Grant us some elevated sight,
Of endless days. And let us see
The joy of what is yet to be.
And may your future make us free.

---------

What a hope we have in Jesus Christ.

To listen to the whole poem, click here.

Quirky Momma Giveaway! :)

2010-02-05T15:34:00.000-06:00

First of all, if you have young children, you've GOT to check out Quirky Momma. They have lots of great ideas for activities for young kiddos. I'm definitely going to do some of the things on there once Char gets a little older and appreciates "crafts" more, haha.

Right now they are having a giveaway!! Yay!!

So head on over here and enter to win some Evgie toy products (pictured to the left). These toys are SO adorable! Good luck! :)

Achoooo!

2010-02-05T15:29:00.000-06:00

Ugh!! For the past week, Lil Bit has been sick. I, of course, unable to stop kissing her sweet cheeks, caught the lovely cold virus she had. Or whatever it is. She got sick last Friday so she's about done being sick, although she is still a little stuffy and fussy at times. I also think she is teething (yet again!) so that doesn't help the matter. Poor thing.

I had to call in to work this whole week and THAT really stinks. I have very little sick time since we just went out of town for Christmas, and all of that vacation time was used up then, so... Yeah. We're poor this month because of a stupid cold. Of course, we're always poor, but that's for another post!

I tried going to Target today to pick up a gift for a baby shower and that was a no go. She was fussy, I was fussy because I had just taken a Sudafed (bad idea, I gots the jitters)... We got what we needed, and then left. Then I realized I forgot to get a gift bag. Ugh.

However, in two weeks, Thomas and I are going on a much needed getaway to Gatlinburg! I can't wait! I have never been but everyone I know who has been says its just great. Hopefully I'll be better by then! :)

To cut or not to cut....

2010-01-29T08:46:00.000-06:00

So, I have been thinking. About Charlotte's hair. I have not a CLUE as to what to do with it. I am grossly lacking when it comes to figuring out toddler hair (omg, I have a toddler? when did that happen?) I'm not sure if I want her to have bangs, or if I want to put up with scraggly hair for a while in the front in order for her hair to grow out to one length.

Hmmmmm.

Not sure.

I like and then I don't like bangs. First of all, bangs are just a lot of upkeep! You have to cut them every few weeks, and if you're like me and clumsy as a duck, you want a professional to do it. I don't want my kid to have a mullet in any way, form, or fashion! So that would cost $$$. Plus, I just personally don't like the look of bangs on her.

On the other hand, if I grew them out, she will look like a schlop for about... Well, I dont know. 6 months? Her hair is growing like wildfire so I'm not entirely sure when it would all grow out. For the time being I just clip her "bang" hair to the side. It works for awhile, until she discovers my scheme and rips that bow out from her hear. Its funny though, because right after she takes it out, she tries to put it back in her hair (see above picture). Haha, she's a smarty, she is. Sometimes I'll put her hair in a cute pebbles'ish doo and that works out alright, plus, she looks cute as a button!

Anyways, what do you think? Bangs, no bangs? Which do you think she'll hate me for less when she's older?

Ha.

I miss her.

2010-01-28T08:17:00.002-06:00

I miss my sweet girl on the days that I work. I only get to see her for about an hour on "those" days.

Being a working mom sucks.

Recap 2009

2010-01-22T09:21:00.000-06:00

For the last week I've been off from work, and it has been GREAT! I've actually been able to sleep and I've spent a lot of time with my sweet girl. We've gone shopping, gone to the park, went walking a lot outside, ate our first Chik-fil-a kids meal (well, she did, not me :) , took lots of pictures, and just... hung out at home.Tonight, though, I go back to work and since I have been off all week, I sent Charlotte over to Sara's house for the day. I just need a day to breathe and do what I want to do without worrying about her nap schedule. Soooo while I am hear sipping on some coffee and watching Fox News, I realized I never really did a review of the year 2009. It was a HUGE year, so I think I should do it now! Never too late for that, right? :)

So, let's see. 2009 was a big year for us. On December 15, 2008, one day before our second anniversary (which was also her due date), we welcomed our sweet baby into our lives. The next two months that follow are pretty much a blur to me and if it weren't for the hundreds of pictures I took, I don't think I would have remembered any of it! Honestly, we weren't very sleep deprived because Charlotte slept in the bed with us so it made feeding and sleeping so much easier. We moved her to the crib when she was 10 weeks old and she has been there ever since! Now, she won't even take a nap with me, little stinker. :) I was also very stressed about nursing and making it work, although it never really panned out because she had an undiagnosed tongue tie (google it.) Honestly, I still regret not nursing for long, even though I truly know I did EVERYTHING I knew how to do for 10 weeks. I was probably obsessed with it, but it just wasn't meant to be. I ended up pumping until April and that helped to save us a lot of money and I felt better about her only having mommy's milk for that time (ya know, winter, RSV, cold season, etc).

January 2009

January 2010

Another big issue was me trying to get her on a "schedule." I found a book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, and it happened to be my saving grace when it comes to baby sleep. Of course, it did make me extremely paranoid and I started to think to myself, "If she doesn't get the 14-18 hours of sleep a day she needs, is she going to have ADD? or be stupid? or be overtired?" Blah blah blah. So that definitely fed into my PPD that I struggled with until I got put on an antidepressant in April. Ever since I got put on Celexa, things have been smooth sailing! It's just amazing how much hormones affect you.

In March, I started back to work. It was an easy transition because during the day when I slept, Sara, a good friend from church, watched Charlotte. She lives in our neighborhood so it has been very convenient and easy for us. Plus, Charlotte just loves going over there and I know Sara loves Char, too.

During the summer time, not much had happened. We didn't go to the beach or anything, but it was mostly filled with Thomas and I working. Charlotte started eating baby food in June (yes, I waited until 6 months because I'm lazy). Charlotte FINALLY rolled over at 7.5 months and has been on the prowl ever since! She started crawling in September at 9 months, and then started walking at 11 months! No talking as of yet, but we're working on it!

During the fall semester, Thomas had a career fair at Auburn that led to a job lead at a company called Eaton Corp. This particular plant is located in Jackson, MS and he was invited for an interview, and then for a second interview. For his second interview he had to give a presentation of his work experience, interview with lots of different people... Lots more than I've ever had to do for a job interview! For a month after the interview, we were on pins and needles wondering if he had got the job or not. A couple days before Thanksgiving, we learned that he indeed DID get the job and got a very good offer along with it. So that means we will be moving to Jackson in May after he graduates, and I'm excited but very nervous about it!

In December, Charlotte turned 1 year old. And I still can't believe how fast this past year has gone. It totally blows my mind that the little curled up ball of babyness has turned into a little toddler with 8 teeth and smiles galore.

So yeah, if I could sum up 2009 in one word, it would be BABY. Baby has made a total overhaul on my life. Baby has made me change the way I think about myself, about others, about Thomas, and probably most of all, about God. Baby has driven me CRAZY (literally... you think I'm kidding!) but has also made me most proud.

This next year is sure to be a full one, too. With a new move coming up, new jobs for both of us, and Biggun's second year in progress, it's going to be fun and I wouldn't have it any other way.

God is so good.

Balmex queen and Target runs

2010-01-20T15:12:00.000-06:00

Ma! Look what I found!

So today Little Stinker and I decided to go to Target. I had heard they were having some great sales, and I guess I missed out because most of the 75% off stuff was cleared out. Oh well! I did happen to find some cute jeans for Charlotte and a few tops. I have lately discovered that it is becoming more and more difficult to go to stores with her. I guess she is at that stage where she just wants to walkwalkwalkwalk EVERYWHERE. She does NOT want to sit in the cart and will throw a screaming fit if I try to restrict her movement. So today I put her down on the ground just to see what she'd do. She was surprisingly good, although a few times she did want to dart in the complete opposite direction of my shopping excursion. One of those child leashes would come in handy about right now! Ha. But overall she stayed by my side and listened when I told her to come back when she began to wander. I can only imagine how a huge, bright, and colorful place like Target would look to a Little Person!

But I do have a question.

What do you do when this Little Person decides to throw a fit in a store where you know everyone is watching you and waiting to see how you lay hold of your dear child? I have my own thoughts but I'd like to know what you do, too! So, any thoughts?

Oh, and I leave you with.... Said Little Person. :)

Wide awake.

2010-01-19T06:26:00.000-06:00

Why do I do this to myself? Ugh. Charlotte wakes up at about 7-7:30ish every morning. Sometimes I take a nap during the day (only if she decides to take a long 2 hour nap, of course) and sometimes I don't (like yesterday). Either way, it makes for a long day after watching a sweet one year old toddle and play around the house. By the time she goes to bed, I'm spent! I usually fight sleep while sitting on the couch for about an hour. Last night I decided to go to bed at about 9:45pm. Well, of course, I can't ever sleep past 7 hours without taking some kind of sleeping aid (that's what working nights will do for ya) so I wake up at 4:30am. Wide awake. *yawn* After laying in the bed for an hour, having a revelation about where I left my wallet (it had been missing for a week), and being annoyed by the smoke detector beep letting us know that the battery was low... Well, I decided to hop on the net. I need to get back to my Bible reading...

chuga bear

2010-01-18T16:46:00.001-06:00

Oh Charlotte, how much do I love thee?

Before I became a mom I never realized how I could feel about a child. I have never really been a "kids" person. I just was never around them, my family never had itty bitties running around. Well, we did, but I wouldn't consider my family to be very close so we just never got together very often. I think I babysat once growing up, and that's it! And I won't lie, in the beginning it was very hard adjusting to having a baby in the house. But lately she has just been SO much fun! She is walking like a pro now, working on running, imitating practically everything we do (except sign language, grrrr, little stinker!), and trying to learn how to climb on the couch. If I am on the couch, she wants to be on the couch. If I am sitting on the floor, she is content to sit or be on the floor. I taught her this new trick yesterday. I was turning around in circles like a crazy person and singing for her to turn around with me. And she started turning around! And cracking up at me, of course. She laughs at just about everything I do. Sometimes I feel like I'M the goofy and playful parent. Aren't dads supposed to have that role? HAHA. But I do love her so much and I'm so excited to watch this little person develop into God has her planned to be. Smooches, little Char!!! :)

Mommy loves me this I know,

because she loves to tell me so!

Baby Shoes

2010-01-17T15:00:00.000-06:00

I have an obsession. And it is quite the obsession. I just LOVE baby shoes. Or toddler shoes, walking shoes, whatever you want to call them. There is nothing more adorable than cute little shoes on cute little feet! I just love 'em! These shoes are the ones Charlotte currently wears and they are just so adorable. The only thing about baby shoes, though, is the price. You can find some on sale, but seriously, some of them are more expensive than I would be willing to pay for a pair for myself!

And right now there is a sale going on at Pediped.com that also benefits the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Check them out!

13 month doc's visit

2010-01-15T15:55:00.002-06:00

Charlotte got to have her 1 year doctor's appointment today! Yeah, she is 13 months instead of 12, but that's ok, right? She did well, as she always does, except she always hollers when the pediatrician sticks that thing in her ears. Oh, and of course she SCREAMS when she gets shots. Of course, I do, too!! :) Here are her 13 month stats:

Height: 32.5 inches (100+ percentile!)
Weight: 21 lbs 1 ounce (50 percentile)
Head: 17 3/4 inches (er... dont know, dont care percentile)

Doctor said she looks perfect! She is still on a little formula because we are trying to use up the leftover cans we have. No use in putting good formula nutrition to waste! :) But she is on all "adult people food" and no more baby food! Well, she still gets some infant oatmeal in the morning because of the iron. I started giving her juice (well, VERY watered down juice) but I think I am going to cut that out because it's a habit I really don't want to have to break later on. I would really like her to want water instead of sugar, NOT saying that juice isn't ok for your child, if you're cool with it! :) She is walking ALL OVER the place now, she even has this new thing where she likes to stomp her feet. I am still working on sign language with her but it seems like she just refuses to sign back! The only one she'll use pretty consistently is "all done" after she is finished eating. Oh well, maybe she'll catch on soon.

I get my tallness from my parentals

Finished with day 6!

2010-01-07T06:19:00.007-06:00

In six days, I have read through the 28th chapter of Exodus. I have NEVER done that before. Reading the Word of God in huge chunks like this (anywhere from 12-16 chapters a day) has been so rewarding, even just in the 6 days that I have been doing it. You see how the story of the Bible comes together and you pick up things you never noticed before. I have tried to read the Bible cover to cover in a year. I have only done it once before (and actually, it ended up being about 1.5 years), but honestly, it's just such a LONG goal in sight! I guess that's why I like the 90 day set up so much. I'll have read the whole Bible read by March 31, right before Easter. This is just so inspiring to me, as someone who alway desires to read the whole Bible but just doesnt know how to do it. Praise God for His wonderful and PERFECT Word.

The hubby's new blog!

2010-01-06T08:43:00.000-06:00

We decided to create a new blog about our student debt payoff. Thomas will be the main contributor to the blog. It will chronicle our challenges that will come up over the next few years as we struggle to pay off Thomas' 6 figure student debt. Yeah, it's hard for me to type that.

Check it out.

http://www.thesixfigurediplomapayoff.com/

part-time.

2010-01-05T14:31:00.000-06:00

The hubs and I have been talking it over and we have come to the conclusion that it would be ~~ABSOLUTELY AMAZING~~ possible for me to only work part-time after we move! Thomas is very budget-minded. He updates and studies our budget and knows it like the back of his hand. He is constantly checking the online bank statements for updates so he can add it to the "budget." It has not been unknown for him to call me 5 mins after leaving Target asking me, "So, what did you just buy?"

Annoying? Yes. But I am very grateful for it because Lord knows that I am NOT very budget-minded and dont even know how to balance the checkbook. He basically pushes me out the door the work and I work. He tells me how and when to spend money. It works for us!

Anyways. So according to his "budget" for paying off his student loans after he graduates, it may work out for me to only have to work part-time in a nursing job. How amazing would that be? It would be on Friday and Saturday nights. This way I could be with my sweet angel for 5 days out of the week, and on the weekends she could spend them with her daddy. So that way we wouldn't have to pay for daycare or a sitter AND she would be at home more and I'd ALMOST be a SAHM... But not quite. I gotta settle for something! Mommy's guilt eats me alive some days!

Please pray for us in this decision and in the next few months as we make very important relocation decisions...

Bible in 90 Days

2010-01-01T15:58:00.000-06:00

I found this idea on a Facebook status and I just love it! For the new year, I am going to commit myself to reading through the Bible in 90 days. Seems like a daunting task to me right now, but I know I REALLY need it. I'll be following along MomsToolbox.com and Biblein90days.org. I have read through the Bible before, but it has been a few years and I know that I need to get in His Word more. Anyone want to join with me? I need accountability here, people! :)

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T01:05:00.001-06:00

Happy new year, everyone! Of course, for my new year, I am holding down the renal unit. It's a small price to pay considering I got Christmas off. What are your goals for the new year? Maybe I'll post mine later!! :)

Holidays are over!

2009-12-30T13:59:00.005-06:00

Over the past month, I have discovered that December is going to be an extremely busy month every year! Not only is it right after Thanksgiving, and has Christmas and New Years packed in (and all the shopping that goes along with those two!! yay!!), but Charlotte's birthday is the 15th. So, Im sorry for neglecting this blog during that time!!! I'll go in later and add the "missing blog posts."

I think I have learned my lesson that LESS is MORE when it comes to baby birthdays! I think I stressed myself out way too much over it this year. Don't get me wrong, it was a BLAST and fun times were had by all, but I get myself way too worked up over entertaining people. Next year we're going to have a quiet little get together with family.. No stress!! ha.

Like I said, I'll post more pics and posts later, but I'll leave you with a birthday pic of the little princess! :)

JACKSON PICS!

2009-12-08T14:16:00.001-06:00

As my friends will tell you, I am not a big picture taker. I'm just not. I've tried to be, but alas, to no avail. I just always forget to grab my camera! *sigh* So these are some of the pics I snapped this past weekend.

First off, a pic of my hubby. The first night in Jackson (well, I guess it was our only night) we went to a restaurant who's name I can't remember right now (I think it was Bravo's?). It was AMAZING. It seriously had the best chicken I had ever had in my life. It was called Grilled Chicken but it had this soft cheese on top.. And wow, it was just amazing.

This is a snapshot of one of the shopping malls in the area. We had lunch in Sweet Peppers Deli (practically the same as McAlisters). Its a nice area in Ridgeland, I believe.

Possible future place of employment! :)

Another place of possible employment. I think this was Baptist hospital.

Of course, we drove by Eaton Corp. Thomas was just all too excited to show me where he'll be working for the next umpteen years. It's in an older building so it wasn't as snazzy as some other plants I've seen, but he said it was really nice inside. Eaton has a great reputation, I've heard. Not that I know anything about that kind of stuff.

We just had to drive by the Reservoir! It was beautiful, even on a rainy foggy day like it was. It was HUGE and took about 5 mins to drive across it.

Another picture of the Rez.

So that's all I got! I know it isn't much, but like I said, I really like the area and it was a lot of fun taking the weekend off to be with my honey!

Jackson Trip!

2009-12-07T15:28:00.000-06:00

Thomas and I visited Jackson, MS this past weekend since I had never been to the area and I wanted to get a feel for where I would be living for the next 3-??? years. Let me first say that I just LOVED it. It was a lot better than I imagined it to be. I don't know why, but I NEVER imagined myself living in Mississippi. I always thought Alabama was bad enough! Goes to show you God has a sense of humor and our plans are definitely NOT His plans, and vice versa.

When we got there we met our real estate agent, who had been recommended by Thomas' company. She was so nice, but I've got to say that she had THE biggest southern accent I have ever heard and I've never heard someone roll their "R's" more than she did! But she was really cute and showed us all around Jackson's surrounding areas (Madison, Ridgeland, and Brandon... the 3 areas we are considering to move to) and even gave us daycare advice, showed me the local hospitals (there are 5!), and showed us 4 houses. It was a bit overwhelming at first but there seems to be a lot to do there. She showed us the Reservoir and it is HUGE! I am so excited about that, I have never lived near a large body of water. She said there is a lot of boating and water activities that go on in the summer at the Rez. There are even a few restaurants right on the water.

We spent about 3 hours just driving around. There were a lot of shopping areas and I saw 8 Kroger's in about a 15 mile radius! No Publix, though, but that's ok. We also drove past a TON of churches. There was literally a church on every corner, not that I'm complaining about that! Just means that finding a good church will probably be kind of hard. I know that God has everything all planned out. I can only pray that God leads us to a godly and biblical church that has been as wonderful to us as our current church. I get teary eyed when I think about leaving everyone.

Anyways... Later on that night Thomas and I went to a local restaurant near downtown Jackson called Bravo! It was an Italian restaurant and at first I thought I was a little underdressed in my jeans and top (but I did have boots on! haha) because everyone was dressed so fancy. The food was a little pricey, but I have got to say they had THE BEST grilled chicken entree that I have EVER had. It was so good, we will definitely be going there again! After we ate, Thomas and I drove over to Barnes and Noble (what is it with us and bookstores??) and got some coffee. We moseyed around a little bit and I skimmed over a few baby books (well, toddler books)... Then we went to the hotel room where I passed out from sheer exhaustion! A 5 hour drive and then all of that I just described made for a very long day....

Of course, the next morning I woke up at 7:11am. Im telling you, this child has ruined my ability to sleep in!! Arghhhh!!! Hopefully I'll remember how to do that someday!!! But we got up, got some breakfast, and drove around a bit more before we headed home at about 1pm. My mom was at home watching Charlotte and I really started to miss my biggin. I was so excited to see her when I got home, and I THINK she was excited to see me... However, less than 5 minutes after arriving home she was back to playing with her stuffed puppies... Go figure!! :)

I took a few pictures and I will have those up later on.....

Garmin

2009-12-06T21:30:00.000-06:00

On Black Friday while I was at work, I ordered a Garmin Nuvi 260w on Amazon. It arrived a few days later and can I tell you how *AMAZING* it is??? I had a few Amazon giftcards saved up from my Swagbuckin' so it brought the overall price to a ridiculously low deal, so we had to get it. We figured it would be really handy after we make the Big Move. I have zero navigational skills, so this thing is really going to help me out! We brought it with us over to Jackson this past weekend and it was simply amazing! It guesstimated our arrival times down to the minute, told us where the closest gas stations were, led us to any house address we typed in... It is just awesome. We'll probably have to get another one for my car next year.

It's so amazing that this kind of technology is available for such an inexpensive price. Crazy!

We're goin' to Jackson.......

2009-12-03T13:01:00.000-06:00

In the words of Johnny Cash, we're goin' to Jackson!!

I didn't put it on the blog for the longest time because Thomas didn't want to get the word out until Eaton had "officially" let him know about the job. They told him over Thanksgiving break that he had gotten the job! About 1.5 months ago, he had two interviews with Eaton Corporation in Jackson, MS for a Leadership Development Program for engineering college grads. Over 20 people were interviewed and only 5 were selected. They are REALLY keen on GPA and for Thomas to have gotten the job with only a 3.01 GPA, well, let me just say that it was a definite God thing! Praise the Lord! He has a TON of experience, though, so I'm sure that is what convinced the interview panel to accept him. Basically what he will be doing is rotating to different positions over 3 years, and then they will put him in a management position in an area that depends on his area of expertise. So the goal of the program is to develop the LDP's and train them (heavily!) for a few years and then move them on up the ladder.

We are both SO excited about this great opportunity. They gave him a GREAT offer, complete with sign on bonus and relocation package. Thank GOD I wont have to pack up all this stuff!!! I hate packing and moving!!

Since I have never been to Jackson, MS, just the two of us are visiting the area this weekend so I can see if I approve! His company is even paying for our hotel room at an Embassy Suites! I can't wait!

Of course, more on all of this later....!!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

2009-12-03T09:26:00.001-06:00

I haven't updated this blog in a few days, sorry! The holidays are here and we all know how busy we can all get! But anyways, this past weekend Thomas, Charlotte, and I drove up to Huntsville to visit family for Thanksgiving. Since I had to work on Thanksgiving night, we drove up Friday and let me tell you.. That was a BAD idea. Can we say "major grump mama"?? Yes. That was me. The sun was directly in Char's face the WHOLE DRIVE. So for 4 hours I hold up a towel to block the sun when all I want to do is crash and go to sleep after being up for almost 24 hours. I was exhausted.

But once we got there, it was really fun! Thomas' cousin and her boyfriend, his mama and her hubby, and his aunt and uncle were there and it was just great hanging out with everyone. I really like being around his family, they have always treated me so well. Charlotte loved it too! So much so that she did NOT nap AT ALL on Saturday! Weee!!! That was fun!! :-/ Seriously, she did surprisingly well considering she had so little sleep. But she did sleep great at night, no complaints there! I was wondering how she was going to do in that horribly uncomfortable pack n play.. But I guess she was just so exhausted by then she didnt care!! haha

As the above picture probably tells, we had a family celebration of little Charlotte's birthday! I can't believe she is about to turn 1! That totally blows my mind. Wasn't I just pregnant just a short while ago? Waddling around at work, feeling her kick inside my tummy, watching my belly grow, having TERRIBLE morning sickness.... And now she is walking around! Crazy!! Isn't God so cool to have designed pregnancy, birth, and then just the ability to watch that child grow up and.. walk? And call you mommy? And actually SMILE at you and think you're funny??? God is amazing.

Here is Char and her grandma Susan!!! :-)

Charlotte Walking!!

2009-11-24T13:06:00.001-06:00

Well, at 11 months Lil Miss started taking a few steps, and now she is full on walking! Of course, she still crawls about 75% of the time but she walks pretty well! I imagine in a few weeks she'll be a pro! Here is a cute little video.

In other news, we still haven't heard back from Thomas' company in Jackson, MS that he interviewed at over a month ago. They told him they would let him know of their decision before Thanksgiving... And well.... Haven't heard a thing yet! I guess this could be a good or a bad thing? So for now we're on pins and needles waiting to hear back!

The Supremacy of Christ

2009-11-23T09:55:00.000-06:00

The Children by John Piper

2009-11-23T09:12:00.000-06:00

"The Children" by John Piper
Do you hear the children crying?
I can hear them every day,
Crying, sighing, dying, flying
Somewhere safe where they can play.
Somewhere safe from all the dangers,
Somewhere safe from crack and AIDS,
Safe from lust and lurking strangers,
Safe from war and bombing raids.
Somewhere safe from malnutrition,
Safe from daddy’s damning voice,
Safe from mommy’s cool ambition,
Safe from deadly goddess, Choice.
Do you hear the children crying?
I can hear them every day,
Crying, sighing, dying, flying
Somewhere safe where they can play.
* * * *
Do you see the children meeting?
I can see them in the sky,
Meeting, eating, meeting, greeting
Jesus with the answer why.
Why the milk no longer nourished,
Why the water made them sick,
Why the crops no longer flourished,
Why the belly got so thick.
Why they never knew the reason
Friends had vanished out of sight,
Why some suffered for a season,
Others never saw the light.
Do you see the children meeting?
I can see them in the sky,
Meeting, eating, meeting, greeting
Jesus with the answer why.
* * * *
Do you hear the children singing?
I can hear them high above,
Singing, springing, ringing, bringing
Glory to the God of love.
Glory for the gift of living,
Glory for the end of pain,
Glory for the gift of giving,
Glory for eternal gain.
Glory from the ones forsaken,
Glory from the lost and lone,
Glory when the infants waken,
Orphans on the Father’s throne
Do you hear the children singing?
I can hear them high above,
Singing, springing, ringing, bringing
Glory to the God of love.
* * * *
Do you see the children coming?
I can see them on the clouds,
Coming, strumming, drumming, humming
Songs with heaven’s happy crowds.
Songs with lots of happy clapping,
Songs that set the heart on fire,
Songs that make your foot start tapping,
Songs that make a merry choir.
Songs so loud the mountains tremble,
Songs so pure the canyons ring,
When the children all assemble
Millions, millions, round the King.
Do you see the children coming?
I can see them on the clouds,
Coming, strumming, drumming, humming
Songs with heaven’s happy crowds.
* * * *
Do you see the children waiting?
I can see them all aglow
Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting,
Who of us will rise and go?
Will we turn and fly to meet them
Will we venture something new?
I intend to rise and greet them.
Come and go with me, would you?

Listen to an amazing sermon about the sanctity of life by John Piper here:

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/MediaPlayer/3528/Video/

Imported Blog

2009-11-22T18:28:00.000-06:00

I decided to import my old blog onto here so it would be easier to find. And so my little records of (well, some of) Charlotte's first year of life can be on here.

Sunday Naps

2009-11-22T17:08:00.000-06:00

No, not for me, silly! For da baby. :)

Sundays are pretty hard on us. I love to go to church and I love to go to the Bible study it has afterward, but before I had a child I never realized how important naps were for growing babies! Every other day Charlotte has 2 naps.... One at about 9:30am that lasts anywhere from 1-2 hours and one in the afternoon at about 2:30pm that lasts about 2 hours (or more). On Sundays, however, church starts AT 9:30, so poor thing is always ready and willing to jump in the bed right when we get there, but.... We have to thrust her into the nursery that is fully of all kinds of wonderful colorful TOYS to play with! What joy! :) Soooo we usually have to deal with a fussy baby pretty much all day. After church (we usually leave before Bible study for this reason, if anyone is wondering... I just can't concentrate about God when my baby is screaming because she is waaay overtired) we have to drive around for about 30 mins for her to have a little catnap in the car. Then we go to lunch and then go home so she can get a longer nap in.

Such is life when you have a baby!! It used to be much worse when she was taking 3-4 naps a day, haha... Yeah, talk about being overtired! I swear that child was about to slap me on some of her more tired days!

God, I can't wait until she goes down to 1 nap... Maybe, just MAYBE, we will be able to get out of the house for more than 2 hours at a time! And go to church.... for the WHOLE time.

MaHaHahA I luv to mak muma crazE wit mi nap habitz!

Samsonite

2009-11-22T16:45:00.000-06:00

Meet..... Samson. Or as we like to call him - Samsonite, Stinky Sam, or "Dah" in Char language. He is a 2.5 year old mini chihuahua. Well, I dont know if he is actually a mini chihuahua but he sure is tiny! He hovers around 5 lbs on a good day and is just a big ball of cuteness. And sweetness. He loves to be pet more than any other dog I have ever seen! If he sits by you and you decide, oh, I dont know, maybe my hand needs a BREAK from stroking your fur, he will start clawing at you until you start up again. Crazy, I know, I dont know WHO taught him this trick, but I think it's pretty clever for a dog with such a small brain! He loves his mama and I like to say he's my little shadow. Even when I am using the bathroom he sticks his nose under the door to make sure I'm still there!

Christmas is upon us!

2009-11-21T00:43:00.000-06:00

Just a little picture of Charlotte to get you in the holiday spirit! :)

Psalm 130

2009-11-20T23:38:00.000-06:00

This chapter has resonated with me for the past few weeks. For those who don't know me very well, I have struggled with depression for years, probably since I was in high school, although I guess then I didn't really know what to call it. This past year has been particularly difficult. To be honest, being a mom is not what I thought it would be. Maybe I'm just selfish still and God is trying to strengthen me through all of this, but most of the time I just feel torn. I miss being able to sleep in with my husband and do nothing all day long. I miss having all the time in the world I want to read my Bible, listen to amazing sermons, and be with friends without worrying about naptime or bedtime. Do not get me wrong, I love my sweet girl so very much and I consider it the highest honor to be called her mommy (that is, when she finally says it, ha). The cute little things she does makes my heart melt and sometimes I stand back and wonder how God could create something so amazing and allow me to actually be a big part of her life. But there have been times, especially when she was first born, that I just wanted to give her up for adoption. I've always wanted someone to just come and take her for one full day just so I can have a break. I wish we had family nearby that would do this, but that just doesn't happen to be our circumstance.

Before you ask, yes, I did (and probably still do) have post-partum depression and while, of course, it has gotten better over time, I still have these bouts where I just feel so hopeless. So out of control with life, like there is no way it could ever get better. And then I read these verses.

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
² O Lord, hear my voice.
       Let your ears be attentive
       to my cry for mercy.
³ If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
       O Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But with you there is forgiveness;
       therefore you are feared.
⁵ I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
       and in his word I put my hope.
⁶ My soul waits for the Lord
       more than watchmen wait for the morning,
       more than watchmen wait for the morning.
⁷ O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
       for with the LORD is unfailing love
       and with him is full redemption.
⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
       from all their sins.

...and I identify with the writer of this psalm. I wait for the Lord. My soul waits. I know that my God has not forsaken me and He knows my struggles and holds my depression in his hand. He knows the desires of my heart which is to be a godly Christian, good mother, a good wife, a good nurse, a good... fill in the blank. My hope is in Jesus Christ to sanctify me more and more each day. There are days I see no progress, but then look back on my life and see how far He has brought me. Praise God for His grace and His all encompassing, unfailing love.

Praise to the LORD, the Almighty

2009-11-20T22:57:00.000-06:00

I'll be completely honest when I say there are not many female singers I enjoy listening to, especially when it comes to Christian music/hymns. But Christy Nockels is not one of these singers. She makes singing seem easy (its not! for me anyways) and I just love listening to her powerful rock solid voice. On Facebook today someone posted a status with a part of the lyric of this song. Of course, I had to immediately listen to it 10 times. In case you haven't heard it, it is an old hymn but it sung at a Passion conference one year. The link to listen to it is at the bottom, if you're interested. If not, just read the lyrics. Powerful stuff.

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
The King of creation
O my soul, praise Him
For He is thy health and salvation
All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near
Praise Him in glad adoration

Praise to the Lord
Who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth
Shelters thee under His wings
Yea, so gladly sustaineth
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth

Praise to the Lord
Who doth prosper they work and defend thee
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do
If with His love He befriend thee

Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him
All that hath life and breath
Come now with praises before Him
Let the 'amen' sound from His people again
Gladly for aye we adore Him

You can listen to this song here.

just because.

2009-11-19T09:40:00.001-06:00

Because I can't post a blog entry (or 2!) without having a picture of my sweet munchkin, here she is in all her glory -- and all her mommy's complete nerdiness.

TMMO.

2009-11-19T09:33:00.000-06:00

Considering the totally massive amount of student loans that Thomas has acquired over the last *ahem* EIGHT *ahem* years in college, we have been trying to come up with ways in order for us to pay them off A.S.A.P. The ultimate goal is to be debt free (of course, besides having a mortgage, but then we'll get that paid off A.S.A.P. after the student loans are paid off!) within just a few years after he graduates. We'll probably have to live like paupers for a few years, but that is ok! I'm already practicing! I am an avid couponer and CVSer! If you don't know what CVSin' is, you need to jump in the boat because you can really save some serious moolah. And make some too. You can get a good tutorial here.

Anyways, so we've all heard of Dave Ramsey. I had heard of him and knew he was the "money man," but never really understood why. Apparently he was a self-made millionaire by the time we was 30, and then lost it all. Alllll of it. But then he picked himself back up and made himself a millionaire AGAIN. And of course now who knows how much money the man has. He's written a book called, "The Total Money Makeover," and he has a website that helps you with your budget. We just signed up with a free trail so maybe this is something that can really help us? I don't know. I just know that I want to be home with my baby as soon as I can and I just want to get these hovering cloud of debt out of our lives. I know that if we are faithful God will supply all our needs. And we can live off of beans and rice for a few years. Right?

at it again.

2009-11-18T09:38:00.000-06:00

This be my... Oh, I don't know... 5th blog? 5th times a charm, right?

Right?

Anyways, I've decided to follow the crowd and start yet another blog. Will anyone read it? I won't get my hopes up, but I think it can help friends and family follow our lives as it begins to get somewhat interesting.

For starters, I guess an introduction is due. I am Hilary, and I will probably be the main contributor to said "blog." I am a young twenty-something and I am married to another young twenty-something. We'll call him Thomas. We have been married (almost!) three years in December. Last year, a day before our 2 year anniversary, our sweet baby girl was born - Charlotte Rose. She is probably who I will talk most about on here. What else do mommies talk about other than their pretty babies? :)

We are first and foremost devout Christians. But we hope that you know that already. Our one true desire is to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. We must decrease, and He must increase.

I graduated from Auburn University in May of 2008 with a nursing degree and I have been ~~pretending to be~~ working as a nurse ever since. I like my job, but darn it, the day we pay off Thomas' loans is the day I put in my two week notice. I long to be a SAHM (stay at home mom for all you folks unfamiliar with the innerwebz) but that will have to wait a few years because of said loans. I will go into that in detail later... If the hubs approves... We'll see.

Thomas is ~~STILL~~ a student at Auburn University in Industrial Engineering, woo hoo! I'm married to a soon-to-be-engineer! That's gotta count for something, right? This will be his eighth, yes, EIGHTH year in undergrad. Honey, do I need to say it again? EIGHTH. Long story.

I just got finished working the night shift.

Laterz.

ladies and gentlemen....

2009-09-17T21:40:00.001-05:00

.... we have a crawler! Here is a short video of her crawling!!

(*** please dont pay attention to the dogs in the background!! geez...)

Labor Day Weekend

2009-09-06T21:25:00.000-05:00

Charlotte had her first taste of watermelon today. I think she liked it! :)

8 months old!

2009-08-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe my baby is 8 months old today! Time has just flown by SO fast...

She isn't crawling yet, but she's working on it! She'll get on all fours and rock back and forth. She's rolling like a pro now and she'll roll all around the living room if I let her!

FINALLY ROLLING!!!

2009-07-28T01:08:00.000-05:00

Yay! Charlotte FINALLY rolled over! At 7.5 months, she finally did it. I didn't think she'd ever do it! I was getting kind of spoiled because I could just lay her wherever and be somewhat confident that she wouldn't roll off (like the couch, bed, etc). No more, though!! She's finally rolling!!! The sad part about it, though, was she did it while I was on my way to work one night! Sad! Thomas called me and told me and I started crying. I have been trying to get that stinker to roll for MONTHS and Im around her more than anyone, and I don't get to see it! Oh well. Here is a video he got of her just a few mins after she rolled!

7 month pictures

2009-07-20T15:16:00.000-05:00

Recently I took Charlotte to get her 7 month pictures taken. They were supposed to be 6 month pictures, but it's only been recently that she was been sitting up by herself really well and I wanted to get some good sitting pictures. We went to Sears and I think they turned out pretty well! Here are a few of my favorites.

2009-07-10T13:09:00.000-05:00

We recently got a jumperoo for Charlotte and she just loves it! It took her a few days to get the hang of jumping, but ever since she did, she will just jump jump jump in her jumperoo! Its so cute to see her jump and play with all the toys. She likes to talk to her toys, too. So cute! Charlotte has also started to really teeth. She has been for MONTHS now, but I think we might be seeing a little toofer here soon!

6 months!

2009-06-15T17:03:00.000-05:00

We have officially made it to 6 months. Looking back I didnt know if I could survive this far! Baby sure does change everything. Praise God!

Char had her 6 month appointment today. She got some shots (which she did NOT like, I mean, who does like getting shots?) and the doc saw her. She still isn't rolling but the doc said that is fine as long as she is rolling by 9 months. If not, we'll look into some PT. Come on, baby, roll!!!!

Stats.....

16 lb 8 oz
25 1/4 in long
17 in long head

She's a growin'!

splish splash!

2009-06-03T22:27:00.000-05:00

Today Charlotte had her first experience in a pool! She actually did a lot better than I thought she did. She just splashed a little bit and looked around. She didnt cry or anything. I was very proud of her! It seemed that she liked the water, which is very normal for her, she loves bathtime and has never been afraid of water.

First day of solids!

2009-05-30T14:31:00.000-05:00

Today was Charlotte's first taste of solids! Well, ok, more like mush, but she loved it! Instead of rice cereal we did oatmeal cereal. She ate it right up, which really surprised me, I thought she wouldn't like it. But I had a taste and it was actually pretty sweet. I tried to wait until 6 months, but I figured 5.5 months was long enough. :)

I made a huge batch of baby food yesterday, it was so much fun! So far I have made sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans, peas, peaches, pears, and pumpkin. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, and sooo much cheaper than buying the jarred stuff. However, it was pretty messy, you know, making purees and all that. I can't wait to feed everything to her!! (one at a time, of course....)

5 months old!

2009-05-18T12:19:00.000-05:00

Charlotte recently turned 5 months old. Woohoo! I can't believe we've made it this far. I realize I haven't updated this in almost 2 months! Eek! Here are a few updates... She is NOT rolling over yet, neither back to front or front to back. Sometimes it worries me, but I know that she is a completely normal baby otherwise and the doc says she has until 6 months to roll.. So we're on the count down! lol She seems content to just stay on her back or tummy forever! Hopefully she'll be mobile by the time she's 2 years old! :)

As of this moment, little Charlotte has a cold. This makes her 3rd one in her short life. We are also on 100% formula now. I was pretty depressed about it at first, but my milk dried up pretty fast after I had a cold a couple months ago because I took ONE antihistamine pill. Oh, and guess what I realized (after the fact, mind you)? You know Unisom, the sleeping pill? I have to take one sometimes because I am a shift worker. You know what the main ingedient is? Diphenhydramine! An antihistamine!!! The same stuff in Benadryl. AHH! Like I said, NOW I realize this! No wonder I dried up so fast. Oh well, atleast I was able to feed her mommies milk for 4.5 months of her life, the most critical months. But she has been fine on formula, has had no problems whatsoever. She still is quite the little spitter, though! She'll spit up sometimes 3.5 hours after she's last eaten (she eats every 4 hours). Hopefully she'll outgrow that soon. I'm tired of her smelling like spoiled milk!

We are waiting until 6 months to start any kind of solid (because that's what the AAP recommends, plus I'm just too darn lazy to start now!!!! LOL), but I have been surfing around the 'net about making my own homemade babyfood. It looks so easy, I think I'm going to give it a try! I'm excited about it! There's so many yummy recipes out there. I hope Charlotte grows up to love her fruits and veggies. She has been eyeing me while I sip out of a cup. We were at Moe's the other day and I saw she was watching me, so I picked her up and let her gum on the top of the cup. Don't worry, she didn't get any of my sweet tea, but it was so cute! We also got a little sippy cut the other day and she seems to be taking to it quite well! Right now I just put a little water in it and it usually gets all over her, but she seems to like it!

Well, that's it for now!

4 month stats!

2009-04-15T10:34:00.000-05:00

Charlotte had her 4 month well baby check up! She did ok with the shots, only cried for a few seconds. Afterwords she slept for 2.5 hours straight! lol THAT rarely happens. So, here are her stats:

13 lbs 10 oz (50th percentile)
25.25 inches (90th percentile)

Still not rolling yet, but that's ok! Hopefully soon she'll be rolling all over the place!

ChunkMunk

2009-03-29T11:59:00.000-06:00

For the past couple weeks, things have been great with the baby. She is about 3.5 mo old right now. I'm not exactly sure how much she weighs or how long she is, but she is getting big! I call her Biggun and my little ChunkMunk. :) She is getting a little better at coordinating her movements, although she can't just reach out and grab something yet. But, of course, everything she does grab ends up right in her mouth! She is drooling a whole bunch now, and has been for about a month now. I'm constantly having to change her bibs because they get so soaked! Maybe a little bit of teething is going on, I don't know, although she seems a little young for that! Maybe I'll have a look in her mouth later and check it out. We're still tackling the 45 minute naps! Which is so frustrating and makes it near impossible to put her on any kind of schedule (I like the word "routine" better :) But I've decided to just quit stressing about it and just go with it. I've read babies outgrow this by about 5 or 6 months.

When I was sick a couple weeks ago, I had to take some meds (I was just too miserable!) and I think the antihistamine I took made my milk supply dip a bit. So frustrating! But I am still able to keep up with her needs and have only supplemented with formula once (at night, and would you believe she slept through the whole night that time? from 7:30-6:45am!) and I might have to use more formula later on, but for right now, I am just happy that I am able to give her whats best while she's still so little, and while it's still RSV season and whatnot. I am still pumping mostly so she is still eating by a bottle, but I try to nurse her atleast once a day for the antibodies and to maybe increase my supply a bit.

We also recently got a video monitor. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, it's a bit overkill, right? And I used to think that, too. Well, with all the sleeping issues we've been having (mostly with naps) and me constantly having the urge to go in her room and check on her, I got one. It wasn't too expensive, I got it for $85 on eBay and I figured it was a good investment since Charlotte is definitely not going to be the last Hill baby. :) Anyways, I LOVE it. I love watching her sleep and love watching her put herself to sleep (something that was not very easy to teach her, that's for sure...) and I can also see that when she's crying, she's not in distress. I can also see right when she's waking up so I can go in and pop that paci back in her mouth so she can maybe extend the nap (and my alone time!) for another hour or so. It has been wonderful having it and I definitely think it should be on any new mom's baby wish list!

And here is a video for your viewing pleasure.... :)

Back to Work!

2009-03-15T20:41:00.000-06:00

So last week was my first week back to work! It went a lot better than I thought it would, although it did take me a couple days to get used to sleeping during the day. It was also my first week of being a nurse without being pregnant, haha! It was definitely much easier than before. I used to have to bring so much food to work with me because I would get so nauseous if I let my stomach get empty! (hello 65 lb weight gain! lol) I like being able to have a break for 3 days out of the week, although I still get to see Charlotte for about an hour total those 3 days. And then we spend 4 days together! It is going to work out great, I think.

This weekend Charlotte and I have also been a little under the weather. I have a horrible cold right now and I have to work tomorrow so I hope I feel better. I would hate to call in on my 2nd week back! How embarrassing! Anyways Charlotte only had a stuffy nose and she coughed and sneezed for a day or two, but she was such a happy "sick" baby! She wasn't fussy at all and slept great, something I was worried about when she was to get sick. I wonder if she only had allergies with all the seasonal changes we are going through right now. She seems to be doing much better now. Which, by the way, I thought breastfeeding was supposed to help babies not get sick! This has been the second time since she was born that she's been sick! So much for all that... :)

For right now, everything has been going great. We are still struggling our way through short naps (45 mins! ugh!) but I've read some info about how to extend them so I am going to be trying some of the tips this week. It worked today for her morning nap, she slept 2 hours! Anyone have any advice for this?? :)

In terms of milestones, not much has been happening! She turned 3 months old today, though! How the time has flown. I can't believe it! Seems only yesterday I was rubbing my tummy and she would kick me and I would press her foot and she would move it back in, lol. Such a little miracle! But she has been much more aware than she used to be and she loves to smile! She hasn't started giggling yet, but I can't wait 'til she does! :) She'll definitely fit into this laughing family! She can lift her head up a bit like you can see in one of the pics above. She also tried to roll over, but not yet! Soon enough though, I'm sure!

Pretty in Pink!

2009-03-02T16:00:00.000-06:00

Charlotte just seems to be getting so big lately. When I have been bathing her, I've noticed she's almost outgrown the newborn sling part of the baby tub. I remember when she was so tiny and she would only fit in the netted part! ha. She's about 25 inches right now. She's ginormous! I swear I see an extra fat roll in her legs every time I change her diaper. She likes lying on her boppy pillow and kicking her legs and smiling. She has even started giggling a bit! It's so precious. Here are some pictures!

Snow Day!

2009-03-01T15:42:00.000-06:00

It's snowing! I haven't seen it snow like this in ages! It snowed about 3 inches around here. So it was baby's first snow day! We didn't stay out in the snow for long, but Charlotte Rose was able to wear her snow outfit for a little while outside, and then she took a nap in it in the swing. My mom also came down the day before and she hadn't been down since Christmas so it was great to have her here and for her to see the baby. She has grown a ton since she has seen her!

Yesterday I was at a women's retreat for my church. It was a great time of fellowship and sermons that I really needed to hear. I realize I have wasted a lot of time during this maternity leave. It is so easy to get caught up in a routine of life, all the while leaving the LORD out of it. I feel ashamed of that and I plan on fixing it. Here is a great software program I found that helps you with Scripture memorization: http://www.memorizehisword.com

This last week has also been very hard on me. I pretty much had a meltdown on Tuesday and Wednesday. I had been reading too many baby books (sleep books, in particular) and I think I had just become too paranoid. I am feeling much better now after talking it over with a couple women from my church whose parenting styles are similar to mine. I've realized that God really is our help in times of trouble and He definitely helped me through it and has given me a spirit of peace about it. I'm just going to raise my baby the way that God has instinctively called me to do it and by His Word, of course! On a side note, it simply amazes me what people will read and implement just because the author says he is a Christian.

2 months!

2009-02-20T11:27:00.000-06:00

Charlotte is 2 months old now! I can't believe it, time has flown by so fast! On Tuesday she had her 2 month doctor's appointment. She apparently doesn't have thrush anymore, just a white tongue which the doc attributed to milk. Hmm. Then why do *I* keep getting it? I've heard you can get it from the pump, but I hope not! It's not like I have an extra few hundred dollars lying around to buy a new one! Anyways, she is perfectly healthy and weighed in at 11 lb 4 oz (about 50th percentile) and get this... 24.5 in long! That's 99th percentile! I always thought she was a long baby, but my goodness. I wonder where she gets that from? Haha.

Yesterday I took her to the ENT doctor to have her tongue tie evaluated. Ever since she was born I had noticed a very noticeable indention in the middle of her tongue. All the doctors, lactation consultants, etc all said it was fine and wouldn't affect nursing. But we have had so many problems with nursing from the very beginning (we're still not nursing, btw... gotta love breast pumps!) I really don't know what else it could be. Anyways, so I had her checked out, and he just basically said go ahead and clip it. So we did! I wasn't really expecting him to do it yesterday. They had to strap her down and she gave him a big smile (poor kid didn't know what was comin') and he clipped it. It wasn't too bad, she cried for a bit, but she was ok. When we got home and I got her out of the car seat, she was smiling at me. :) So we'll see if this helps out at all with the nursing. I attempted to latch her yesterday morning (before the clipping) and she latched right on. (btw, sorry if this is TMI for anyone!) Twice! It was only for a few minutes. But then she fell off and got fussy. Oh well, atleast it's something!

I never would have thought almost 10 WEEKS after my baby was born I'd still be struggling with this stuff. But my baby is worth it. And I'm just plain too stubborn to quit.

Weekend Fun

2009-02-09T09:31:00.000-06:00

This weekend we had some company! My best friend, Susan, came down to visit us from Birmingham. We've been friends since 7th grade and I think it's pretty impressive that we still keep in touch as much as we do!

So of course, we took lots of pictures. We took Little Lottie out on the town out to eat and took our stroller for a spin at the mall. That was the first time Lottie has been out in her stroller (well, outside of our neighborhood)! She did pretty well, she liked to look around at all the people walking by and at all the colorful things in the store. She also had plenty of compliments about how such a pretty baby she is! :)

And today my little princess is 8 weeks old! I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since she was born. It seems like I was just pregnant! I don't know if I'm weird, but sometimes I miss being pregnant. I miss feeling her kick and squirm around. And I miss sleeping! Ha. But don't get me wrong, I love cuddling with her and waking up next to her in bed. And I do NOT want to be pregnant any time soon! It was no walk in the park for me and I surely don't miss puking my guts out everyday for 6 months straight.

Anyways, now on to a new week!

For those who have babies or little ones and are interested...... http://www.ezzo.info (yes, the infamous Gary Ezzo of Babywise! Maybe he's not so "wise" afterall....)

auntie em comes to visit!

2009-02-05T15:19:00.000-06:00

Today Charlotte and I had a visitor! A good friend of mine, Emily, came to visit us and have lunch. Emily and I go way back (all the way to freshman year lol). We were also in the same sorority. It was fun getting caught up. This was the first time she got to meet little Charlotte, too. Fun times all around! :)

Charlotte was happy about Emily coming!
What a sweet girl! :)

long time no update!!

2009-02-04T16:34:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the lack of updates!! Of course, this is going to be one big update! :)

Where to begin?

As of today, Charlotte Rose is 7 weeks and 2 days old! She is getting big! If I had to guess, I'd say she's almost 11 lbs now! I think the last time she was weighed she was 10 lbs, and that was at her 1 month doctor's appt. She's getting so big!!

Just a few updates from since she was born....

The wonderful and lovely people from our church coordinated dinners for us. I cannot even explain how helpful this was and how blessed we felt during this time! It was so amazing not to have to worry about making dinner. I cannot express how grateful we are to have such a wonderful church family.

My mom came down to visit again during Christmas time. It was great having her here. She even watched the baby one night so Thomas and I could go out on a real date! We went to go see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." Very good, by the way!

In early January, Thomas' mom came down again (she was here the day after Lottie was born with Fred) and spent a weekend with us. It was also great having her here.

Hmm.. And then the next weekend Thomas' aunt and cousin Addie came to visit. We went out to eat and spent some time together and they also watched Charlotte while we had another date night! Woo Hoo!

But I guess the biggest issue that has risen since she was born has been the breastfeeding issue. 7 weeks later, and we are STILL not nursing successfully. I have been basically pumping breastmilk for her ever since (I have a great supply, so PTL for that!) and bottle feeding her. We had latch problems from the beginning. I have tried everything to get the girl to latch, and she just won't. It's extremely painful and shallow. It was really bad the first couple weeks. I cried soo much during that time, I don't even like to think about it! I know I was starting to slip into some post-partum depression because she just wouldn't "get it" and I was just so mad that everyone else seemed to have a great breastfeeding experience, and why I couldn't have it, just bewildered me. I had a horrible pregnancy (constantly sick) and a painfully long labor, and now this! lol. So, needless to stay, we are still working on nursing.... I am almost at the point where I am about to quit, but I think I am too stubborn to! It's just that after I have read so many articles about how much a risk formula feeding is, I feel like every bottle I would give her of formula would be pumping cancer into her!! Ahhhh... This is a whole other blog in itself, can you tell?

Moving on....

Basically Charlotte has just been getting bigger and bigger! She seems to have added a few extra rolls onto her little legs. She also grew 2 inches in a month, so now she is about 23 inches! I'm afraid she is going to be outgrowing some of her 0-3 month clothing pretty soon!

She also started SMILING!! :) She started that at about week 6, which I was so looking forward to. She is so cute when she smiles! It really makes me teary eyed sometimes. I can't believe God has given me this precious little gift. She has also started to make a lot of cute little noises, like little coos and cahs.

Here are a few pics from the last 7 weeks...

Right after babies first sponge bath! What a cutie!

This was taken on Monday 2/2/09, she just loves her little playgym!
There is a little mirror which is what she is looking at.
She just smiles at her reflection. So cute!

This was taken last week. She likes to sit in her bouncy seat as Thomas and I eat dinner. We were trying to get her to smile, and she finally cracked one!

A few weeks ago my dad came down to visit.

This is the picture we used in our birth announcement. Maybe you received one? :)

Those are just a few of the pictures we've taken over the last 7 weeks. She has her 2 month doctor's appt on February 17. I'll be interested to know how much she weighs then! And how long she is! She will be getting vaccinated, which admittedly, I am a little nervous about.... With all this news going on about autism and all that. I'm thinking about having her on an alternate schedule, which is what Dr. Sears suggests. You know, of The Sears Baby Book?

Until next time....

Charlotte Rose is here!!

2008-12-16T05:04:00.000-06:00

My little baby girl is finally here! She was born this evening at 6:51pm, 7 lb 10 oz and 21 inches long! Perfectly healthy, came out kicking and screaming, and surprisingly more pink than most babies I've seen born! (You know, all those babies on TLC's "A Baby Story") :) Only 5 hours before her due date!

Here is the delightful story of my horrendous labor!! Ugh!! :)

Like I said in my previous post, my doctor stripped my membranes last Thursday. It is supposed to induce labor and is successful 50% of the time within 48 hours. Well, she was born much later than 48 hrs after it was done, but I had horrible painful contractions all weekend long, so I don't know whether to attribute it to the membrane stripping or umm.. "other methods"... or just it being her time! I don't know.

Yesterday, on Sunday, Thomas and I went to church then went to eat at Olive Garden. Very good by the way! And I was contracting the whole time. Sometimes they were regular, and sometimes not. We go home and I keep timing the contractions, they are anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart. I had to work that night, but at around 4pm, they started getting more regular and wouldn't go away, even while walking, which is what all the baby books says differentiates false and true labor. I get ready to go to work anyways. Actually, I DO go to work, only to be in more pain when I get there. Luckily, I was able to go home because I really though, "This is it!!" which I later proved to right!

Fast forward.... ALLLLL night long I was up and contracting. However, they were only 5-10mins apart, although they got much more intense and painful as time went on. The blasted hospital told me NOT to come in until they were 4-5 mins apart for 2 hours. What?!?! I don't think that'll ever happen!! lol. So... the next morning (after a 3 hr nap, man, I wish I would have slept more!! I didn't because I was afraid I would stop the labor! ha) the contractions tapered off a bit, but came back with a vengeance, that's for sure. Thomas and I took a walk around the neighborhood, which seemed to help get them back to where they were.

Still anywhere from 5-10 mins apart but getting even MORE painful. How frustrating is that??

At about noon, I just couldn't take it anymore. By this point, I have been in labor for 20 HOURS!!! I call the doctor and the nurse tells me to come in and get a labor check, which we do. When I am there, she checks me and I am only 3 cm dilated. Why was I not surprised? But she said since I was in pain, I could check into the hospital.

So we go across the street to the hospital, get checked in, IV'd, monitored, and all that good stuff. Now, up to this point, I was against having an epidural. I really wanted to have a natural labor and delivery, but seeing as how I had gone sooo long with so little progress, and this pain was just about unbearable, I gave in an had an epidural. But now I am not sorry about that at all, because it actually sped everything up.

Got the epi at 2pm, by 3pm I was 4.5cm.

By 5pm I was 8cm.

By 6pm I was 10cm, and ready to push!

It was pretty awkward trying to push when you couldn't feel what you were supposed to push!! Haha. Thomas was there with me and my mom was with me, too. I pushed for about 30 mins, and out she came -- face up!! Haha. No wonder I was having all that back pain!! I tore a little bit so I had to get stitched up from that...

But they put this little pink alien on my chest... Seriously, that's what I thought at first!! lol I don't think I knew WHAT to think! I just couldn't believe this little baby just came out of me. I don't know what I was expecting... haha. But she had a little conehead (which is normal) and she was wiggly and cute as ever! Oh, and so much HAIR!!! Definitely wasn't expecting that one! :)

Of course, then they cleaned her up and gave the little angel back to me....

We tried to breastfeed, but I think she was a little doped up from the epidural, so she didn't latch on very well. We've tried again later when we got settled in the mother/baby room, but she just keeps falling asleep or just won't latch right. Hopefully things will get better.

Of course, I haven't had any sleep, and I'm not expecting to for the next few days. They just brought her back from the nursery in the CUTEST little setup ever!! Since it is close to Christmas time, they brought her out in her bassinet in a huge red stocking, complete with a little white and red hat. SO CUTE!! See for yourself...

So right now we are just getting used to being mommy and daddy! I didn't realize babies eat so often! Every 2-3 hours! Sheesh. That'll take some getting used to. But in the mean time, here are some more pics of the little cutie pie!

Looking up at mommy!

Being assessed! Perfectly healthy, by the way! :)

Resting quietly. In her little candy cane hat!

I'll add a little more once things get settled!! Hopefully I'll be able to update the blog a lot, but if not, you can add me as a friend on facebook, Hilary Hill. That's where our ton of pics will be stored!!! We are so blessed to have this little sweetheart enter our lives. But I realize the adventure has only begun!

The beginning of labor...

2008-12-11T22:09:00.000-06:00

So I went to the doctor today for one of my many weekly prenatal visits, and she examined me, and I was only still 1 cm dilated. I've been 1 cm for about 3-4 weeks now. I've been trying to do all the natural ways to induce labor, but no luck so far! :)

She ended up "stripping my membranes," and I'm not going to go into what exactly that entails, if you're really curious, you can google it. Anyways, it hurt like heck, that's for sure!! And ever since then I have had very irregular (and painful!) contractions. I keep hoping that they will "regular up" but so far, no luck. I have to work this weekend on Sunday and through Tuesday night (go figure, working on my due date!). Charlotte is kicking around as usual, so that's good! My doc mentioned being induced soon (and I'm not even at my due date yet, what the...?) which will NOT be an option, I don't care if I go over 2 weeks past the due date. It's not like she's going to stay in there!! lol. I have been reading on the 'Net about stripping membranes and it seems to have a 50/50 success rate and is supposed to induce labor within 48 hours. We'll see how that goes!!

Here is a recent picture of me. 9 months prego, and getting ready to go to work! I can't believe we have made it this far. For some reason I don't feel very "big" though, even though I have gained... umm.. quite a bit of weight, of which I am worried about losing after the baby comes. I'll worry about that later, though!

a blog for little lottie

2008-12-09T16:12:00.000-06:00

Hey there! I have decided to make a blog for our little soon-to-be angelface!! We are so excited about little Charlotte Rose getting here. Thomas and I both have family and friends across the country, so I have decided to put together this little blog to show what's going on in Little Lottie's life! I hope to post lots of pictures and little tidbits about what is going on in our lives. I hope to update it quite a bit, but we'll see! I've never been good at keeping up with blogs, but hopefully I'll keep up with this one.

Just for the record...

My email is hilhillrn@gmail.com
Thomas' email is hillthl@auburn.edu

Or you can leave comments on here for us to see!

Enjoy! :)